Southwest of Chicago--the only place in the country where you can have the furnace and air conditioner on in the same day. We know dead people who have voted.We know three or four taxes that nobody else pays.  We  know the real meaning of "corruption." and we expect it. We understand the democratic machine and don't fight against it.   We go to a Bears' game in zero temperatures with a lake breeze and freezing rain and think it's fun.  We like two football teams, the Bears, and anyone who beats the Packers.  "Da" is a proper definitive adjective, like "Da Bears, Da Coach" (and we know who that is.)  We guard our parking space with an old chair and broom:  And being a responsible person, we know that if we return them to their owners,we will be shot.  We know how many cars can legally turn left after the light changes to red. We wear gym shoe, not sneakers.  We know, by heart, the telephone number for Empire Carpets.  We live 20 miles from where we work and it takes us 2 hours to get there.  We think 35 degree weather is perfect to wash our cars.  We're all still Bulls fans.  We know when the Cubs won the last pennant.  Our living room is called our front room.  We eat supper. And now you have a lot of valuable information about Chicaaaagoans.