What is wrong with me? Please help!

Hello Postalacc, I have the feeling that deep down you are a sensitive, caring, and possibly very intelligent person. And I wonder whether you are in a position to work on a "voluntary" basis, to help neglected or abused animals, the impoverished elderly, or children in foster homes? Or work at summer camps? And, the reason I ask is, that in "helping others, you will help yourself". Or, because, "true love is the forgetting of self", you will lose yourself in something you love to do. And make a wonderful contribution to the "good of all" at the same time. Also, Postalacc, go to your local library and "read"! Because, the more you know, the more you'll grow, and the further you'll go!

I am sure you will learn to control your temper, and go on to a new and better life. "In quietness and in confidence lies your strength."

In time, let us know the "good news"!

I wish you well and kind regards,

Elisha

you need a true psychiatrist, not just some jerk wanting to diagnose you in 10 minutes -- IMPOSSIBLE. 

i have been diagnosed as cyclothymic (a mild case of bipolar).  i suffered from the same things you described, periods of invincibility, wrecklessness, then suicidal thoughts.  i am presently on Paxil (anti-depressants), Zyprexa (bipolar meds), and Valium for anxiety/panic attacks.  i still see my pyschiatrist; have been seeing one off and on since i was 15. 

you might also want to try drinking chamomile tea which will help calm you when you're feeling down and also calm you when you're feeiling the wrecklessness.

my heart goes out to you that you are able to find the help (and maybe the right meds) to balance you. 

Hello Postalacc;

Take heart!! Those of us who seek professional help - for help's sake alone - are those with the very best chances of getting our illnesses in-check; overcoming the seemingly insurmountable odds and regaining and happily maintaining our lives in the fullest way possible!

I think that we can all agree that anyone who can claim to have you diagnosed in a ten-minute, or even a one-hour session is very much mistaken. It sounds to me like the doctor doesn't like his job - maybe has grown cynical over the years. The symptoms you describe sound very disconcerting, and are affecting your life in an immeasureable way. It seems obvious to me that you have some illness working against you. Gezebel's advice is right on - you have to get yourself to another professional who will take the time to get to know you, and put to use all of the diagnostic tools and abilities (s)he has at hand. Also, Elisha gave you some good advice when she suggested that you read all that you can - especially regarding anxiety and/or mood disorders. One site in particular that gives a good layperson's explanation, and one I use quite a bit, is The Mayo Clinic Health site, at www.mayoclinic.com . It's very user-friendly.

From my experience as a student of psychology, I can point to some disorders that may be of particular interest to you - based on the symptoms you described. But, I can't stress enough the importance of getting a proper diagnosis, from a proper professional. You might look to some of the mood disorders, such as; generalized anxiety disorder; seasonal affective disorder (are your symptoms worse or triggered in any way by the seasons?); intermittent explosive disorder; bipolar I and bipolar II (esp. rapid cycling); schizo-affective disorder; schizotypal personality disorder; anti-social personality disorder; borderline personality disorder; the list is long indeed. Beware of 'student-syndrome,' wherein one starts to see certain symptoms in themselves and/or in close-friends or loved ones. We all have a bit of this or that symptom of some disorder if we look hard enough for it. That doesn't mean it's a life-affecting problem. Also, quite often, two or more issues can overlap at certain points, making diagnosis all that much more non-D.I.Y..

Just one other thing that I want to note; we have to think of how we present to a doctor. He has to like you to want to treat you effectively, and he has to WANT to treat you, if you are to get anywhere in moving forward with treatment. Often a doctor will test you in the manner that you described. If you are referred to a community mental-health clinic, that is exactly the place to get started on finding the right therapist, and perhaps (quite likely) a psychiatrist that WANTS to help.

Try to put yourself in the doctor's position...  for example; if I was your doctor, I would ask myself some of these questions: What does he stand to gain - if anything? Are there unsettled issues in court that would benefit from seeking treatment? Would there be any financial gain for the patient? Does he present as humble, honest, and earnestly seeking help? Is he on-time for appt.s? Is he ever absent without good reason? Keep in mind that without medical insurance, you may NEED to use the Community Mental Health Clinic in your area. It's also as good a place as any to get started from.

I wish you great sucess in your journey toward enlightenment. I'd like to leave you this quote, that you might read it when things seem at their worst.

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men of talent. Genius will not... The world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'press on' has solved, and will always solve the problems of the human race."  -Calvin Coolidge

One thousand blessings to you and yours, Postalacc,  ~J

Where I live, people who seek mental health help usually work with a counselor and a psychiatrist. Unfortunately, the psychiatrists seem to do nothing unless it involves medication.  There are a lot of meds out there and finding the right combination sometimes means the psychiatrist has to experiment a little with the right dosages. Psychiatrists are overwhelmed with the number of people they must see , and sometimes you can't even get 15 minutes out of them, bt they do know their medications.  Sometimes it's not worthwhile trying to find a "diagnosis," and the DMR is growing exponentially, but does it really matter what name you put to it?  You're miserable, and you need to have some help to understand what you're going through.  Even in a mental health clinic, you can find good social workers, psychologists, or other types of therapists, and also see a psychiatrist who will handle the medication side.  Sometimes it takes trying out a few therapists to see who will connect with you.  Evenetually, you'll find someone who will listen and with whom you feel comfortable.  Don't let matters of insurance bother you; there really are good people in the clinics.  If someone tries to tell you in one meeting that you can't be helped, move directly to someone else! But remember, all the jokes about having to want to help yourself are true, but if you find the right person he or she will understand that you will have times that helping yourself seems too hard.  I urge you to try as many therapists as it takes to find one who is the right fit.  Dealing with mental health issues, whether or not they can be helped with different medications, takes patience and more patience. Don't get discouraged, and don't give up! Perhaps you have a friend or family member who can help you make and keep appointments even after you have found someone with whom you can relate.  You deserve to be happy, and if you can't be happy, you at least deserve to be content.