Pam-
You ask the impossible. Perhaps the USMC could be of assistance.
It is good to have an easy questions to answer. Unfortunately, putting the answer into practice will be harder. I trust that "my home" means that it belongs to you. Or the bank, with your name on the mortgage.
- Decide what the rules are. You may wish to discuss this with your pastor, a counselor, and/or a good friend.
- Make several copies and give one to everyone that is staying there. Put a copy anywhere that a rule applies.
- Decide what the penalties for rules breaking will be and enforce them. This goes all the way up to and includes eviction.
- You don't want to hurt their feeling? = MARTYR
- Do not let yourself be manipulated. If their feelings are hurt, so what? They will live. I do not see how that it is your responsibility to provide housing for other adults, even if they are family. And you certainly do not need to feel that you are responsible for their happiness.
Pam, your desire not to hurt your family's feelings is normal, but is can be very crippling. You need to decide whether you will remain on the alter or get off and, not only expect, but demand to be treated as responsible and respectable adult.
JayR