i am female and in my 40's and i have been divorced for over 10 years. I have met someone 6 months ago through the internet. He is 7 years older then me and also divorced for 10 years. I wasn't sure about starting this relationship, because we live 2 hours from each other, and I hadn't dated for over 10 years and was also kinda scared. Well I feel in love with this person and I am feeling confused now. I got over the distance problem and we see each other every weekend. He has an x girlfriend that lives in another state and he keep regular contact with her, I didn't want this to bother me and I thought I could handle this , but I have been having problems with this. Do you think I am being too sensitive about this ? I also have another problem, sometimes he is very romantic and sensitive towards me and other times I am confused about how he really feels. I also think about the future and I am not sure either of us would move to be with the other and I wonder if this relationship is worth pursuing. I guess I should tell you i have been really hurt in the past (one reason I hadn't dated in the ten years) I really believe in living in today and try not to look too much into the future (nobody is guaranteed tomorrow) but I would like to believe this could last forever. Please help....
As you've been so badly hurt in the past it is only fair and reasonable that you ensure that these communications between your lover and his ex either cease or remain harmless. It is generally not usual to maintain a close relationship after a breakup, unless he can truly satisfy you that it's entirely platonic, ie non-emotional and non-sexual. Such relationships with past lovers do occur and are seemingly pretty harmless. You want an exclusive relationship in return for your committment to him. If those two are just friends now, then your relationship is not jeapordized at all.
If he insists that his ongoing relationship with his ex is quite safe and above board, with no intimacy, ie, they are just friends, then you have no option other than to entirely trust him as part of your love. This will be a big step for you.
At his age I expect that he now knows what he wants in a woman, and that's you! He could have re-chosen his ex but wanted you instead. Enjoy the relationship without reservation if you are reasonably satisfied with his integrity.
In any event, because you have some doubts, it seems prudent to continue to wait until you become appropriately satisfied about his love for you and only you. Just don't let past pains paralyze you. Time runs out eventually!
if you truly want to be with this man you have got to tell the devil to get out of your head. Does he treat you good? Does he make you feel good? Not like the bad kinda good, but good good...if so when you start to doubt his feelings or get jealous (which by the way is a complete waste of time and energy) then just focus on the good things, remember a time he made you smile and you will eventually prefer smiling over sitting around torturing yourself in your own mind. However, if you truly, by proof, have a reason not to trust him, well, you never will, end it now but i think you are probably just being human in being jealous but just let it go!!!
I guess I really just wanted to hear it from someone else, thanks for the advice, I will work harder on it. i really want this to work.
Love is the battery of life....
Hi,
dear woman
nothing lasts forever, not even life itself. does that mean we should not live it?
there is a song that goes like this:"better to have failed in love than never to have loved at all".
the question is not if he is worth it, but if you are worth it. therfore the answer is yes. we all have our experiances. some shitty some lovely. rejoice that your heart is thumping, that you are able to be excited, that you are able to love.
love love love
wish you all the best. and if this guy doesnt work out. go for another.
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Enjoying good times with a good man is: good! "In Love" is an emotional response. It is not hard to fall in love with a good man; however, maturity and self constraint are expected---especially when it was SO NEEDED! SLOW!!! You might have a best friend for life or a steady boyfriend; expecting the first man you FEEL in love with to reciprocate may be asking too much. People have problems when they expect too much. SLOW!!! As you said, enjoy NOW with some restraints.
live love and laugh and always wear a smile
Im also going thru something and feeling very hurt, but there are always signs and us "women" are to blind to see them, in my experience anyone you meet on the internet always ends up end "disatrously" and never works out, in my opinion and experience guys "lie alot" and when they say there taking things slow "it means there still out there" and the distance that you live from him honestly gives him pretty much free range about what hes doing, even if its 1 block away its still the same , you wonder what they do when there not with you and you also notice when there on line and for how long "what could they being on line so many hrs" and guys are famous for stringy along women they want to keep around and yes it gets confusing? but my answer im hurting but im moving foward and using this as a learning expierence, also never wear yr heart on yr sleeve and never show a guy how u trully feeln unless you and him "that ur the one" --i hope i have helped
{Insert Catchy Phrase HERE}
It's perfectly natural for you to be a bit cautious, especially considering that in 10 years of being divorced you havent dated much which tells me you got pretty badly hurt in your last experience. I've got several exes that I'm still very good friends with, and all of them live within a 20 minute drive of me...my girlfriend knows about all of them, and we all hang out regularly. If this guy and his ex are friends, i don't think it's much to worry about. I know it's rare for a guy to stay friends with an ex, but it does happen, and if you like the guy and trust him when he tells you she's just a friend I'd let it go til you know otherwise.
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