8 thumbs up

Why do i worry so!!! (about relationships)

Ok here it goes............... I met my boyfriend online, on yahoo personals. We have been together for three months today. He is seven years older which i love, i am almost 30 so the age gap really is not a big deal at all at this point. I like that he is older because i hope that he has had all his crazy experiences and now just wants to find the right person. We have been getting along great these last three months and I am very happy with the way things are going. My only issue is something that has also come up in all my previous relationships. Trust issues. I cant help but always think that the person i am with will find someone they are more into or that they like better than me, no matter how committed we say we are. A few years ago one of my exes cheated on me, which was something he confessed to after i broke up with him. this just confirmed my paranoia. With the new guy my issue is that he is always online. We both took down our personal ad and he has told me he talks to people he met seven years ago online that he will never meet nor does he want to. i actually do believe him. He works a job where he has 12 hour shifts and does call dispatching so they have alot of slow time and he can be online and is. he is also online when mi not around. i know he is used to being online all the time and he even talks to family on there. But still, I cant help but stress out about who he is taking to and what about. How do i ease this? i don't want to be a jealous crazy girlfriend. he is not usually on it when im at his place but that is to focus on me i know. I have asked him if he was sure he wanted to do this and that he is not looking for anything better and he said no. he is not the type to beat around the bush. He also told me that the other night he talked to a friend online about me for half hour. He shared this without me asking. I know he has been single for a while and so he is used to doing this. he has not had a really serious relationship in five years, so i know the people you talk to during that time ads up, even with friends that are girls. But ah it still freaks me out. I see myself becoming paranoid and clinging, something i said i would never do again.

Basically how to I calm my fears. I know I have trust, self esteem oh and im sure other issues, but what can i do to relax have fun and enjoy the ride? I just dont want to be wasting my time with the wrong person anymore you know??

 

 

THANK YOU !


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15 thumbs up

You are right in accepting the fact that you need to calm down. Unfortunately, guys pick up on insecurity and paranoia. You need to learn to trust him and know that he is with you for a reason. I firmly believe in the fact that if you hope for the best and stay positive and have faith in people, then you will find the person for you! If you have a negative attitude and expect the worse, then that is often what you get. Stay positive and try to trust him. You are only at the very beginning stages of your relationship with him. Give it time and take it easy. If he continues to talk to other women on the internet, then you can talk to him about it in the future when you are more confident of the status of your relationship. For now, just go with the flow and hope for the best. If it is meant to work out between you two then it will!  Good luck!


Posted 7 months ago ( permalink )
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198 thumbs up

Love knows no bounds.

I'd suggest a couple readings which my other clients have found quite helpful. I've pasted the links below for your convenienece. Hope they help!

5 Ways to Improve Sense of Security in Romantic Relationship

Five Things A Woman Can Do To Improve Her Relationship -- Right Now!

Maintaining a Healthy and Loving Relationship


Posted 7 months ago ( permalink )
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2 thumbs up

Please don't treat every relationship the same. From what you have said he sounds like a really nice guy and you don't want to scare him away. What have worked for me in my relationship is Trust and Thinking & Positive. When you think positive things work out, atleast for me this has worked. In your spare time try to do something that you enjoy doing, this way it will take your mind off your insecuritys and when your togehter just focus on you two and forget about the online chats, its just online. Would you rather him chat online or hanging out in strip club. lol...God has brought this person in your life for a reason, so enjoy the moment and what will happen will happen......


Posted 6 months ago ( permalink )
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3472 thumbs up

Live simply, love generously and  care deeply.

 

Hi cindylou,

    You posted this question 6 months ago.  How is your relationship with this man from Yahoo personals?  Are you still going out with him? 

    We need an update.Smile


Posted 11 days ago ( permalink )
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