One of the most pervasive challenges in dealing with pornography addiction is denial. During the past number of years and particularly since the introduction of the Internet the world has become so desensitized to the issues surrounding sexuality that we no longer know where to look for what is normal behavior. What is pornography or sexual addiction? There are numerous definitions of addiction but they all seem to have a few things in common. A return to unwanted behaviors that are associated with negative consequences after one has made a personal commitment to stop them. These behaviors are induced by unwanted strong and persistent cravings. 

The following are some of the most common signs and symptoms that have been reported to me from clients over the years who have struggled with pornography/sexual addiction. It is my hope that you will have the courage to examine yourself against these signs and symptoms to see where you stand. Be honest with yourself and know that there is help available, if you seek it. 

Common Signs and Symptoms of Pornography/Sexual Addiction

• Disengaged
• Not fully present when with others
• Exhaustion – both physically and emotionally
• Feel like two different people
• Secret behaviors
• Embarrassed about personal behaviors
• Deliberately vague: Omit facts, distort truth when questioned and stay out of the light.
• Avoid direct questions
• Tend to isolate
• Easily frustrated
• Use anger as a weapon to control others
• Low self-esteem
• Build up self by putting others down
• Fatigue
• Foggy mind
• Attempt to change the subject and confuse by introducing irrelevant material.
• Agree without commitment (say ‘yes’ without any commitment to it)
• Claim to be changed after doing the right thing only briefly.
• Accuse others of misunderstanding.

Pornography addiction is harmful. The battle in overcoming it must be fought on a personal level and not a legal one. This battle will never be won in the courts but in the personal private lives of each person. The only way for pornography to go away is for people to stop watching it. There is a higher judge that resides in each one of us and we all know what that means if we have the clarity to see and feel it. Pornography is a very serious issue and is destroying the lives of millions of individuals around the world. May you help you husband find freedom from his chains.

InnerGold offers several free resources to help explain this further.