Dear aquaeyes 

                                                                                                                        It dosen't sound like you love him at all, it sounds more of a need to have someone in your life, if you feel he's better than you, your future is bleak, you already have the one person you need, it's god, he dosen't like you praying to him because, he fears you will get closer to god than him, he sounds like a very shallow and controlling man,!!!

Your not in a relationship, your in a dictatorship, he says jump you say how high, you should never be concerened about his connection to god, if any, you want to go back to the 12 steps program, you should start right now, you don't need his permission, you won't be doing it for him, your doing it for you, if your wondering why, you don't need to get closer to him your sulution, has to come from you

Doing what's right for you, not him !!!

I know your probably not going to do any of these things, you fear you can't live without him, try these steps an be amazed, by what comes out of this.

Good luck

Sincerly rocco