I want this to stop....no one deserves to be treated like this

Hi , You are correct no one deserves to be treated the way this man chooses to treat you .   You have tried counseling and he lied his way through with it . This man has bad character and is dishonest to the core .  He is disrespecting you and the daughter you have with him .  Not to mention he is a horrible role model for your children .  You can't make him stop his unacceptable behavior , this is his choosen life style , he may say he loves you , but actions show you he does not . He is putting you at risk with his infidelity , a STD perhaps one that could kill you . You have 3 Children that could be without a Mother .  Up to now there's been no consequences for his unacceptable behavior .  You need to start making arrangements to leave this man .  Even tho you love him , you can't make him love you and he does not love you .  Hold him accountable and finacially responsible for his daughter .  You have 3 children to think about , this man is selfish and inmature .  The world is full of good honest men who will treat you and your children with the love and respect you deserve .  Your partner should not be the source of your pain and sorrow .  It is time for you to fly .  I wish you and your children the best and the love of a good honest man . For your boyfriend ... It is judgement day .

Sweetie, please pay attention to what Equus has told you.

Meanwhile, here are my additional thoughts on the matter:

You don't "love" this man. You love the man he makes himself out to be when he is lying.

You have three children and you are worried about what will happen to the four of you once you are without this man. That's not love. That's fear and self-preservation.

You need to scrape up your courage and tell him enough is enough.

See an attorney for legal advice about your rights and responsibilities (including child support, visitation, division of property and so on) and then do whatever is necessary to make sure you get that to which you are entitled.

If this man later decides to change his ways and start being honest with you, then you can work at the relationship one small piece at a time - on YOUR terms, and without allowing him to continue to take advantage of you and lie to you.

But that's a pretty big "if" and one I don't think you should plan on.

Take care,

jkgrandma

My first husband cheated on me before and after we were married.  They never change.  No matter how much you love him, you need to love yourself more and get out of this relationship.  Do it for you and your kids.  There is someone out there for you who will treat you like should be treated and not like a doormat.  Your kids will see his behavior and think that is acceptable and grow up to be like him.  They need a better role model.