I still want him in my life....

It doesn't work like this Tasha (see below) and if you really believed it did, you wouldn't be asking this question, you'd just go ahead and do it.

"I know that I do want him in my life, and he told me that part of him wants me in the worst way but not all the b.s. like before which is fine with me,"

Hey if you want this guy regardless of the pain he causes you that's your decision, but don't fool yourself into thinking that if you suffer enough he'll come around and treat you like he should. Right now, you need him much more than he needs you, so if you really want this guy the best approach is to make him believe you don't care about him. As long as you appear "needy" you'll be on the receiving end of his treating you any way he feels while knowing you'll be there when he wants you. My advice, ya gotta change that Tash and if you don't forgettaboutit!

If you just wanted to be friends with him, then you'd do it.

You wouldn't give a damn what anybody thought about it and you wouldn't be here asking for our opinions.

Hon, stop trying to pull the wool over our eyes - and yours.

You like him. You can't have him the way you want. So you figure this way is the next best thing. So what? Why ask if it's "such a bad thing?"

Tasha, if you want him in your life because that's what makes you happy or that's what you need right now, then do it.

When you're finally ready to let go, then the relationship will gradually fade away and you'll move on.

If he grows up and gets a clue before that happens, then your gamble will have worked.

If not, you'll have given yourself a brief interlude of enjoyment.

No harm, no foul.

Now, stop obsessing over your relationship with this guy and let us answer questions on some other subject. Got anything different you want to ask?

Tash, I've read lots of these things, and know situations where girls get hung up on a guy, put up with his "stuff" because they don't want to lose him, and also feel if they do this long enough he'll change and treat her as he should, and I don't believe it works that way. You're putting him on notice with this;

"Im still going to date and go out and do my thing"

and,

"he no longer will consume me and my time like before"

and one of these days he's going to see you with another guy and who knows, that may be the real right guy for you. In either case, this is a win-win for you. You don't need this relationship the way it is so he'll either see this and come around or you'll find a guy who really appreciates you.

Note to jk, some of these are more important than others and when I have a chance to encourage a young lady to know she has options, I'll take the time to do that. Women, far more than men, get hung up in bad relationships and stay with them far beyond the time they should do so. Tash is going to avoid this and I think our encouragemeent will help her. 

Note to Gary: Tasha has asked a total of NINE questions, at least SEVEN of which appear to be about this man and her relationship with him.

I don't think Tasha is stupid, just emotional and analytical all at the same time. She's already decided what to do (and done it, to some degree) but the problem is that she then second guesses herself and posts yet another question asking for opinions and/or validation.

Hence, my request that she ask us about something else. Frankly, I'm already tired of this guy and I don't even know him!

jk, I think we're almost there;

"She's already decided what to do (and done it, to some degree) but the problem is that she then second guesses herself and posts yet another question asking for opinions and/or validation"

OK, I agree but there's nothing wrong with reinforcing her feelings. Being older (now I didn't say old) we've already figured some of these things out so if a younger person can benefit from that then why not. One other difference we have is your feeling that;

"I'm already tired of this guy and I don't even know him!

I don't know the guy and I'd like to get my hands around his throat for making Tasha feel as she does. Relationships end, people move on and that's life, but guys who want to have it both ways become controlling and manulapitive and that's just wrong. I'm protective and even a little defensive when it comes to girls and in another post you may remember I said that girls are "sugar and spice and everything nice" so let's us guys treat you as you deserve to be treated.