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Still unfaithful?

After 30 years of marriage, I discovered that my husband had an affair with one of his employees.  She stayed in his employment for another year.  Although he says he is now faithful, I can't help but feel he is or wishes he was with her now.  I just can't seem to let it go and move on.  I am always suspicious.  I might mention that this is X #3 although the last time, to my knowledge, was 20 years ago.  We have received several months of intensive counseling but he has recently decided he won't continue because "You just don't listen".  How do I move beyond this?


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Actually, the difference is that previously, the women were nameless, faceless people.  This is actually someone who took advantage of me and used me in several ways.  She also was my husband's employee and seemed to be a friend and the fact that he actually kept her on as an employee for over a year after I found out about it, no matter what I said, hurt me deeply.  I finally gave him the ultimatum, either she remains employed or I am gone.  I also told her the same.  Finally he asked her to resign but he still keeps hearing from her.  In addition, I have asked him for his cell phone records and he refuses to give them to me.  Because this is the third time he has cheated, I am not sure I can ever trust him again.  The last time was when I had very small children and was very much alone.  He blames me for this recent episode and has never changed that stance.  He is a very angry and controlling person and has really no relationship with his children because of it.  We do have some good times, but they are very far and few between.  I am seeing a counsellor again and I hope she can help me resolve this.  I have spent 30 years being a daughter, wife, mother, etc.,(we have been married since I was 19 and together since I was 15) with no identitiy of my own and that is what I am searching for after being recently unemployed, which I have been in since I was a young girl.  I obviously have too much time to think about this.  Thank you for your reply. 


Posted 7 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to orangepeel's answer
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79 thumbs up

Its never too late to ask.

You know I gave this one a lot of thought and here's what I came up with I need some answers to these issues that shouted at me: You say you been married for 30 yrs? You say the incident happened over 20 yrs ago and from that until the present you've had no reason to think he's not unfaithful right? And you are still seeing a therapist that he won't participate in because you don't listen. What does he mean by "don't listen,'? Also, why is your therapist still seeing only one of you when he/she knows there has to be 2 willing participants? If you will kindly answer those questions, I'll give you my skinny on it.


Posted 7 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to cowgirl4u1's question
jazzi was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

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Hi there, thanks for your response.  What I meant was that the first two times it happened was 20 years ago.  Most recently was about a year ago.  The difficulty for me was that she was an employee who boarded her horse here and when I was at work during the day she would come here  and spend time alone with my husband.  I, being a very trustful person, wasn't really concerned about it.  I became concerned when I developed some STD symptoms and confronted him about it.  That's when he confessed. The reason I am seeing the therapist alone is because he very self-righteously sees the problem as mine and states that I don't listen to the therapist.  He is unwilling to accept that we need to work on this together.  Which is one of the things the therapist and I discussed today.  Right now I am looking for a separation after I see an attorney to find out my rights.  I don't know how he could be being unfaithful now, but I still find myself questioning everything he does and checking up on him because I don't trust him not to do it again.  I'll be looking forward to your "skinny".


Posted 7 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to cowgirl4u1's question
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66 thumbs up

Betrayal is extremily difficult to overcome and especially 3rd x. I do not believe the flirting ever stops if they still work together because the respect for you is lost. This is the consequences of his actions if he stops the counseling he doesn't care enough to save this marrage. Saying "you don't listen" is his excuse to change the tables around and acting like the victim and make you feel like now you are the one ruining this relationship you seem to be falling for the guilt trip "don't" you did nothing wrong he did, he has to deal with it! He killed your self esteem! Regain it and leave him if you have to! Make it your way or the highway! Good luck!


Posted 7 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to cowgirl4u1's question
AIDA1987 was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

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I really feel for your situation. I have been struggling with the same situation for 3 years after discovering a one year long affair by my husband of 24 years with his secretary(22 years younger). I didn't want to throw away my long marriage and tried to move on, also with counseling he wouldn't attend. What I have found is that I cant forgive because he wont apologize or acknowledge his wrongdoing(its my fault of course)and I recently discovered another past affair. What I have learned is that it doesnt go away and anger and resentment have turned to apathy towards him and the marriage, which our children now pick up on. Don't spend 3 years trying to figure out what you want. He wont change if he doesnt accept responsibility for his actions. By the way, forgiveness comes with

true remorse from the offending party which means they wont do it again. It doesn't give license to be a doormat. You deserve to be cherished and respected. I believe it talks about that in the bible too. I have recently gathered the courage to end my marriage. Good luck to you in your decision 

Posted 6 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to cowgirl4u1's answer
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