Actually, the difference is that previously, the women were nameless, faceless people. This is actually someone who took advantage of me and used me in several ways. She also was my husband's employee and seemed to be a friend and the fact that he actually kept her on as an employee for over a year after I found out about it, no matter what I said, hurt me deeply. I finally gave him the ultimatum, either she remains employed or I am gone. I also told her the same. Finally he asked her to resign but he still keeps hearing from her. In addition, I have asked him for his cell phone records and he refuses to give them to me. Because this is the third time he has cheated, I am not sure I can ever trust him again. The last time was when I had very small children and was very much alone. He blames me for this recent episode and has never changed that stance. He is a very angry and controlling person and has really no relationship with his children because of it. We do have some good times, but they are very far and few between. I am seeing a counsellor again and I hope she can help me resolve this. I have spent 30 years being a daughter, wife, mother, etc.,(we have been married since I was 19 and together since I was 15) with no identitiy of my own and that is what I am searching for after being recently unemployed, which I have been in since I was a young girl. I obviously have too much time to think about this. Thank you for your reply.