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15 thumbs up

The amount of time

My boyfriend & I have been living together for 3 years.  He commutes 3 hours a day to work and back so we only spend about one hour a day together. 

We don't have any of the same days off.  The problem is he thinks the amount of time we spend together is fine but I'm always craving more.  I've tried to plan things to do together but it only happens about once every 3 or 4 months because he doesn't like to change his work schedule or schedule things on his days off because he wants to relax.  He calls, texts, and e-mails me a lot but I really want more time physically.  Does anyone have any suggestions?  Neither one of us wants to leave our jobs.  Thanks for any advice.

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410 thumbs up

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. 

If you love him the way you say you do, just enjoy the time you do have together. If neither of you are willing to change schedules, you will need to accept the current situation. Does that make sense?


Posted 8 months ago ( permalink )
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Hi,

I don't see what there is to do if neither of you want to make a change. You could ask him to make an effort to sometimes reschedule his work but it seems to me like you'd be gaining a small amount of time together.

This is the life you've chosen for yourself so you should try to make the best of it or perhaps think of changing your lifestyle.


Posted 7 months ago ( permalink )
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15 thumbs up

H!  Thanks for your advice!  It's true I did choose this lifestyle but after 5 years I'm tired of it and really crave more time.  I changed how I felt about the situation after living it for so long but he didn't and he's just as happy with the arrangment as he was on day one.  I do love him but I just don't see how to resolve this issue.  When I ask him to do something and he says no, I feel rejected.  Especially if it's a minor change to his schedule and he still won't budge.


Posted 7 months ago ( permalink )
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I see where you're coming from. I think he needs to be a little more flexible with his schedule. With all due respect there's room for flexibility in a relationship. I would try and raise the issue in a way that he won't feel attacked.

Hope this works out for you. 


Posted 7 months ago ( permalink )
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27 thumbs up

Spread Love All Over The World

Love Cards 

Both of you are in love with each other. Just feel this and nothing else. It doesn't matter if you get quantity time but whenever you spend time with each other , make it quality time. Sometimes you take the initiative to surprise him. Send him any romantic love cards while he is least expecting or when he needs your support the most. Cook dinner for him someday. Decorate every corner of your rooms with flowers, candles and fragrance. Decorate the dinning table with some candles and dress for the evening. Surprise him with a candle lit dinner for two. As he comes back from office. Open the door with a smile of welcome, dine together and then say him how much you loved the evening.


Posted 4 months ago ( permalink )
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15 thumbs up

Thanks for the tips Dorothy!  I already do most of those things and I sent him a love card yesterday and he loved it.  Still, the thing that bugs me is that he's totally fine with the amount of time we spend together and I always want more.  I think he could do more, like just going for a walk together, or out for ice cream or coffee, or a quick lunch.  He could stop by my work on his day off just to say Hi.  These things only take an hour or less but he's not interested in changing his schedule even a little bit to do those kind of things.  It's not like I'm asking him to do that every week, just once in awhile.  


Posted 4 months ago ( permalink )
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