6 thumbs up

  To tell her my feelings, or not to tell her after 2 years!

 

I've known this great girl for 2 yrs.  We've become good friends as we've confided in each other about much personal information.  We are opposite in many ways:  I'm more passive, she's very outgoing.  She's loud, I'm quiet.  She likes confrontation, I don't.  She's a city girl, I'm a small town guy.  She's 27, hot and single, I'm 37, good looking, divorced w/no kids.  We do have things in common:  We both are athletic, we are both confident, she's more open about it than me.  We enjoy talking with each other,and enjoy each other's company.  She sometimes can be over the top cuz she likes to be in control and she knows she turns heads so she can be a little over confident at times.  Anyway, I've been divorced for almost a year, and I don't know how long I've had feelings for her.  But I've been very cautious cuz I don't want to be in the "rebound" mode too soon.  I've taken the time to move past my divorce and I'm ready to start dating.  My question:  I've gone back and forth on should I tell her that I have feelings for her with the risk that things will get "weird" and that our friendship will not be the same?  She's admitted a sexual tension between us a long time ago and I didn't know how to read that.  Sometimes I think it's the right time, and then there's times when I think I'm only setting myself up for a huge let down.  I'm not afraid of her saying the feelings are not mutual.  I just need to know if I should share this with her or not?  Help!

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300 thumbs up

A healthy relationship starts with trust and honesty and a big warm genuine smile.
 

It's important that you realize that starting a relationship with a friend while still in the rebound stage is not what you're looking for.

If you really feel like you're ready to get out there, I would suggest confronting her with your feelings. It's more than likely that if you're as close to her as you say, she will be flattered and might suggest taking your friendship to the next level. If this is not the case, the worst that will happen is she says the feelings are not mutual. But it's always worse to miss a chance at happiness than to not even try. Just be sure to point out to her that you're sure that this is not a rebound thing. Explain to her that you waited as long as you did just to be sure it was not a passing feeling. It's important to tell her this because no women like to feel like the rebound girl.


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Hang in there.  If it does not work out drop me a note.  You sound so sincere and caring!  I like that! :)


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77 thumbs up

i think you done the correct thing in telling her your feelings but now that you know  maybe you should think about letting go of this crush. She is your friend and thats why you love her but reading some of your responces  I think now the cocky attitude may get on your nerves a little. Not so blind by Love anymore. You will not change her.  It kinda sounds like a maturity difference between the two of you. As much as you are great friends don't let her hold you back from moving on with your life. If you are really ready to date put your intrests elsewhere. Don't be surprised though that you may see a little bit of jelousy from her when she isn't the center of your world. She thrives off of your attention but keeps you pushed back as her ego boost.


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