How to stop the ex from calling and comming over

Don't tell him not to call you. Make yourself unavailable. Let his calls go to voice mail. Answer a call every now and then. Don't return any of his calls. Let him get the point in his own time. Allow him to know that you have a life without giving him details.

Hi Denise ,   Block his number from your phone , change the locks on the doors and do not answer the door when he comes over .  Unless it is a scheduled visitation for the children .  Take control of your life , he is still in control .  You don't ask him to do or stop doing anything , you call the shots in your life now . He no longer has a say so in your life . 

oh dear!

Well, you run your life now and the only thind is that you can do is to tell him to stop finding excuses to come over or to 'talk'. The only reasonable reasons that you should allow him to come over is if he has visitation rights and if he's dying, then yes you should go talk to him but then other than that, you guys are separated and he's just trying to make his way back into your life. He probably misses you and doesn't know what his life is gonna be like after the divorce. It happens even if they have moved on with their life with another person, they're gonna try and go back to see if this is what they really want cause sometimes it can be a midlife crisis and they chose to do whatever they did that is now leading to a divorce. I don't know what happened in your sitution but sometimes in some siutations thats the case.

I hope this helped and i hope he stops bothering you. I wish you all the luck! God Bless you!

Denise, you've gotten several good suggestions on how to solve this problem so I'm going to offer an opinion on his behavior based on a similar situation I'm familar with. He can't stand not knowing whether or not he's been replaced by another man, and these daily contacts (for no apparent reason) are his way of knowing the answer.

In a similar situation, a lady I worked with got caller ID and timed it so that a coworker (a man not known by the ex) was there to answer the phone several times. The ex, without even asking the question, immediately assumed she was having a relationship and she did not deny or discourage his thinking. Her ex, like yours, had left her for another woman but didn't want her to have the same priviledge. By the third or fourth call the pretend boyfriend started telling the ex not to call and on one occasion implied she couldn't talk because she was ... well, ok I won't go there but you can use your imagination. I don't know if this scenario is possible in your case but in my coworker's situation, it drove the ex crazy and did eventually stop the calls and unannounced visits. In reading your post (below) her feelings were much the same as yours;

"I am still trying to 'get over' this and his calling me and finding excuses to come over only makes it worse."

and she got a measure of sweet revenge caused by his imagining her being intimate with another guy. It took only a short time for this harassment to stop. Whatever you do, take steps to solve this because he will continue to exert a measure of control as long as he knows you will be concerned with his involvement.

Best wishes and my hope for a quick resolution to this painful situation.