Should i stay of go!!!!!

Hello,

First I am sorry for your hurt. Your trust issues will never be the same and you will always "wonder" what he is up to and you will feel the need to snoop in everything every chance that you get. It will take a long time if ever, to get over this. It is your call if you want to try to get through the trust issues. I feel that once the trust is gone, it's over. Not to mention, you have already answered this question yourself.."i dont tell him i love him or hug nothing like i  used...i dont love him dearly"  I think you know the answer my friend.

Nani24,  You are better than this .  Couple questions as he ended the affair , did he confess this affair to you ,or did you have to find out on your own and  is he just sorry he got caught .  You have lost trust and you have lost some respect for him .  He's lied to you , broke the trust which is the very foundation that a loving relationship is built on and stands on through out the years .  How many times he did he make love to you , tell you he loved you and you were the only one , all the while knowing he was sleeping with this other woman , so he's shown you he's a good liar , and not loyal to you .    He disrespected you , to his family as well , he showed you and his family both that he's got  little regard for you , not to mention he can bring home a STD to you , one that could alter your life or take it .  We teach Men how to treat us . With him asking you what is wrong like you should just forget about her , sends a red flag to me that he does not get it , does not understand , see or care the deep hurt and heartache he's caused you .  He should be willing to be an open book starting now and for the rest of his life with you , because it will always be in the back of your mind , can I trust him , does he really love me .  If you decide you can live the rest of you life like this , then I suggest the two of you get some counseling before you say I do .   I wish you the best , think long and hard before you give this Man your heart again .

Beautifully said Equus and very nice advice.    I agree with you totally. I gave you 2 thumbs up.  I would like to add some comments.  I understand how you feel.  That must be painful to know that your loved one shared the same intimacy with someone else.  You need to decide that he is really the one you want to get old with.  If your answer is no because of what he did, then I think that you should break up your relationship with him and move on.  Life is not that easy at times.  You seem to be a very caring and loving woman, so I'm sure that you won't have any problem finding a man who will be loving , caring and above all loyal and honest. 

    It 's just like you have a very beautiful white dress but then it got smeared with oily stuff or some stain.  No matter what you do to clean it, the stain is still there, it still sticks no matter what detergent you use.  Sometimes it is better to just get rid of it because it's not the same as before.  Sometimes it's just better to get something to replace it.  The end result is you will like to use that new dress because it's really clean and stain-free.  And that will ultimately make you happier and more confident.

Dogbreeder , I returned the 2 thumbs up , very well put .  And then one finally sees there's a hole in that white dress and gets the courage to throw it out .

I know your really going through it right now, but you have to stay strong, and think clearly. The way that your treating him, is a natural way to respond after someone has hurt you. I personally think  you need to spend some time away from him. This will give you the room you need to decipher your true feelings. If your away, and you begin to miss him... my advice would be to spend a little time with him... and if he irritates you during that time little bit of time you chose to spend with him.... then it's a lost cause. There's no need in being around someone when your not happy, because it's draining, and you will feel like a fool for giving him the time of day. The whole point of being in a relationship, is being partnered with someone who will compliment you, and someone that you will compliment in return. Take some time to heal. you'll know when your healed because either he will be free from your mind all together... or you'll find yourself loving him the way that you used to.

Love Honey