How do i make it so that adobe acrobat does NOT ...

What version of Acrobat do you have? Is it just the reader or the writer/destiller/forgot the name?

Are you sure you unchecked all of adobe stuff from msconfig. If so and you're still experiencing the same problem I can assume it's some sort of spyware/malware. Use Adware or other anti spyware tools to remove it.

Try this:

Edit-->Preferences-->Updates

- Select "Do not automatically check for critical updates"
- Uncheck "Display Notification dialog at startup"
- Uncheck "Display installation complete dialog"

It's a known issue, according to this site.