On the spot erection problem

Perhaps a part of you doesn't want to have impersonal sex.  Maybe your brain really wants you to get to know someone before having sex with them.  And for many men and women, foreplay is the best part of a sexual encounter.  It is just a thought, but it makes sense to me.

train it say up spike up spike or close your eyes real tight and say i wish it would get hard i wish it would get hard and see what happens

Hi Job,

At age 31 it could be either physcological or physical problems causing this. My personal bet is that it is a combination of both and it is best to get it inot check before it possibly turns into fullscale erectile dysfunction. Some information on treatments can be found in this article on erectile dysfunction. 

I don't believe your penis is shy.  First, you should have a medical exam.  Diabetes, smoking, high blood pressure. to name a few can cause erectile dysfunction and no, you are not too young to have those diseases.  If everything is alright medically, maybe you just need to be more stimulated to be fully aroused.  That isn't abnormal, it may just the way you are wired.  Lastly, being anxious about your performance is only going to make it more difficult for you to perform.