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My mother always blames am acting as her enemy ...

My mother always blames am acting as her enemy right from my childhood as early as a one year baby. She quotes this complaint whenever i give my positive opinion about others. Am actually telling whatever i feel and to make her feel that people around her are not letting her down but ultimately she feels am letting her down by supporting others. It reflects in all aspects and has developed a hatred for me as i feel now. when i tell her that am not so and asking her to trust me, she again aggravates thinking that i blame her of offending me. My family members like my dad and my younger sister who is 2 years younger to me also support her views. I dunno what's happening around me. Am going mad questioning myself. I feel am right. The most adorable person in my life is my mother. Am afraid I'll start hating her. Let me explain with one issue that she often quotes. Once when i was 10 years old, on a morning i had 1 tender coconut before breakfast and she had 2. when i asked for more i was denied. so it seems that i asked my mother " why shouldn't i have one more, when you can drink 2". She had taken up this as an issue and always tells that am always treating her as an equal competitor and not as a mother and how dare i can question her so. Please give me an answer. Am truly going mad. Recently during an argument i burned my skin with iron box.


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209 helpful answers

If I understand your question correctly I would say that your mother is acting quite childish. If I were you I would tell your mother that your relationship with her is too important with you and you want to do everything that you can to fix it. Then suggest seeing a family therapist together. This will bring someone else into the picture to be able to view and give an unbiased opinon. Think about it. I think it can really help you. Good luck.

Posted 2009-10-19T13:00:00Z
 
520 helpful answers

It appears to me that your mother is mentally disturbed.

Posted 2009-10-19T16:59:01Z
 

Please remember that all parents don't remember what it is like to be your age, or were not allowed to be as opinionated as young people are now , without recieving a negitive response. Please remember to be yourself. Pull your mother aside and in a calm fasion tell her how you feel please start this talk with letting her know how much you love her. But just as a measure of respect try not to so opinionated around your mother. Many times more than not a parent negativaty as defense, most likely from a sense of losing control or no one likes to see babies grow up. But also realize that you wont live with her for ever so try to get along now . Some day when you are older you will be glad you did. Even if  it doesn't work out for the best you have atleast tried.

Posted 2009-10-20T16:29:12Z
 
Ortoossi
(deleted account)

Sandhya, You are not going mad. Your mother is not able to understand that you have many questions. She may not be able to because of her nature and upbringing. You, however, must always remember that to be curious is O.K. and continue to ask questions. You have  a wonderful mind that also must understand that there is a time for questions and a time to be kind to your mother. Do not expect her to do what she cannot do. Just love her. No one person can meet all your expectations. She will be able to do the things for you that she can. Conflict arises when you see her frustration and want something more from her. This is normal for you to feel. Moms sometimes can't do anymore than they are able to do. There will be places and times in your life where you can talk in less challenging circumstances and exercise your ideas more freely. You may not be able to do that right now at home with your mom and family. Don't force it. There is a time and place for everything. You may have to wait for the answers sometimes but be patient. It's hard to be smart. Your mother must think that you, too, are adorable. I do.

Posted 2009-10-21T05:31:20Z
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