Me and my boyfreind have been together for two years on and off. We had a great sex life I worked and he didn't. Now am having his frist child and he working am not. When he comes home the house is clean dinner is made but he does not even say hi to me or gave me a kiss he go to his computer and stay on it tell he goes to bed. When am not looking he looking at girls and telling them he single when I ask why, he said he does not know if he loves me anymore. I done everything for this guy .I ask him to stop with the girls and if he wants porn I would watch with him . Plus I have a deep depression.
I assume you are not married which means his commitment to you is almost nil. Looking at it from his perspective the child you are carrying is a threat to him because it means that he will have to be more committed to you. His actions are telling you that now that he got everything he needs from you he would like to look for "new pastures." You have very little recourse except to find a legal way to force him to provide support after the birth of the child or to have him speak with a marriage counselor to help him renew his love and support you as before and accept responsibilities instead of running from them.
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Love is the battery of life....
Hi,
I am very sorry for what you are going through. Your boyfriend does not deserve you. You have sacrificed so much for him and are carrying his child. He should be more respectful and sensitive to your needs. I think the main problem is that he feels that he can get away with his innappropriate actions. You have allowed him thus far to walk all over you and it is time to show him that the way he is treating you is NOT acceptable! He needs to know that he has responsibilities to you and his soon to be child. You need to start demanding changes or he will never respect you. If he refuses to change, then he does not deserve to be a part of your or your child's life.
I agree with the need for urgent couples counseling. It is very serious when a partner tells the other that he does not love her, and does not want to communicate at all. The withdrawal of sex is not a good sign either. It is not as though he is through with sex, because he gets it from the Internet and strip clubs, both very poor substitutes for the real thing. You appear to love him, need him and continue to be sexually attracted. However, you unfortunately seem to also be in a "loveless-sexless" relationship, which generally has a pretty grim medium- and long-term prognosis. If this is the case, it is better to find out now. In such a couples relationship, the person who has love and sexual feelings will continue to be denied and frustrated/angered by the perpetual lack of intimacy and reward from her partner. Lovelessness and sexlessness does not generally change over time.
With all due respect, you need to let go. The reason he doesn't respect you is as follows:
He doesn't consider you his girlfriend. When asked, you're absolutely right, he says he is single, and that "you aren't his wife, and aren't going to be". He has told everyone about you being bipolar, about how you don't have anywhere to go or anyone that cares and that's why you're still around, he even says at work that "she's on her way out", and how it's "possible" that your baby is his. He has let everyone know exactly what he thinks of you, and it's not pretty. He doesn't claim you at all, and if he really loved you and cared, you wouldn't have to beg for anything. If you loved YOURSELF and hadn't burned so many bridges, you wouldn't need to put up with being lied to, cheated on, manipulated and laughed at. What are you thinking?
You aren't having his first child. I believe you were told this to your face. Plus, he is fully aware of the other baby and is preparing for that. Therefore, you might want to deal with the fact that if you aren't solid now (and you aren't) things are only going to get worse for you. You'd might want to get a job and start making sure YOU are going to be able to provide for yourself, because if you are a one income household and he's paying child support (and he will), you aren't going to make it.
Get some meds and get the show on the road.
My name is Peter, and i am pretty sorry about what you're going through with your boyfriends, if you don't mind you can add me on msn bigpeter84@hotmail.com so that i could give you some advice and try to help you as well.
thank you
Thank to all for your help. We talk and everything is just fine.
I know who she is, and I know her "boyfriend" and his family and everything is not fine at all. She'll realize it soon enough. Best of luck, because you are going to need it.
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