Have no interest in sex-ruining my marriage

Reston, You're too busy with everything else except to have quality time with your husband. Do you think that you're better off without your husband? Being a married woman, the connotation is that the wife has an obligation to have sex or better still make love with her husband. Do you still love your husband? If you do, then it's time to sit down with him, discuss the things you both need to do so that you are not so busy with everything else. It's OK to work, go to school, but it does not mean to say that you are excused from your obligation to your husband as the wife. Will you feel better if your husband will find someone else to do your duty to him? Before it's too late, don't be making excuses. Your marriage is going to be ruined if you don't attend to this problem. Take care and I hope that you'll do the right thing.

Hi Reston,

You are saying a lot about yourself between the lines. The problem that I see is not your weight, and not your lack of love for your husband, and possibly not even your lack of libido, but rather your lack of love for yourself.

How can you love someone else if you are unable to love or respect yourself?

When you learn to love yourself, then you will find that your self confidence is restored, you will no longer turn to food for refuge, and your libido will come back.

Please try this program that will set you back into the right course of loving yourself. The program is a unique permanent weight loss program that does not deal with diet but rather addresses the emotional problems that casue you to not love yourself and therefore take refige in food, which causes you to then put on weight. This is the most powerful program, available and will chnge your life forever. Self Esteem and weight loss. 

Reston, both prior replies make good sense to me (including it could be a self esteem issue related to being overweight).

I am not going to pass any judgment because:  [1] I can understand how you are so burdened with all you have going on that you don't feel that you have the time, energy or INCLINATION for sex and [2] I understand how you husband wants and needs sex and will have to get it somewhere else if he can not get it from you.

As DB Lady says, you do have a responsibility to allow your husband to have sex with you (or you should allow him to have that satisfaction elsewhere and NOT complain about it).  His normal sexual needs do need to be met.

So, while I understand BOTH sides, I also see a marriage headed for sure destruction (or two people living miserably married and with a lot of RESENTMENT that will build and build and build).

You need to see a marriage and sex counselor about this.  You probably do need to try to lose weight (however you did not say your husband objects or complains about your weight and he is STILL sexually interested in you).  But more than the weight, you need a counselor who can help you see why and how to balance your life better, to rediscover some sexual pleasure in marriage ... or at least to allow your husband to ... and to save what is a marriage that is going to be destroyed if you stay on the present course ... denying him sex and/or not understanding his need/desire for it. 

If you have children, or if you love your husband, or if he is a good provider and is generally good to you ... you need to realize you are about to damage all of that and it might be irreversible (the damage that might be done).   At least, get the counseling and have your eyes open and be informed and sure of the consequences that you are putting into motion.  This does NOT mean your problems do not need attention and should not also be addressed; it just means you are on a sure collision course right now.

Good luck in school and with the children ... two of the most worthwhile endeavors in life.  Don't sacrifice either of those; just make room for your husbands need too (or allow him to have his needs met in soem other manner).

Wish you, him and the family the best,

ROB

Hi,already your job is taking too much of your time and thats a problem,you don't have time even for your self as such am not sure you even think of sex sometimes.So its possible that if you take time of work and concentrate on your home,watch a  romance movie with your husband,go for a walk together,and try ask him to touch you each time he fill he want it,then it should help.

But the issue is you too most be willing to have sex,if not you will not enjoy or fill for it.