How do I save my marriage?

I'm 35 yrs. old married to the man I love & he no longer desires me.  In short, with is abusive words, he says I drove him there.  He doesn't trust me with NOTHING; not money, our new born child, to make any kind of good decisions, NOTHING.  With his job we only see eachother on average 12 days out of the month.  I never had a problem in trusting his faithfulness to me but now I'm not sure anymore if he's having an affair or not.  He rejects my advances & when it does happen it feels like he's making himself do something he doesn't want to .  We repeat the same pattern every time he comes home.  I try to work on the things he says I do but he never admits when he's wrong, there is nothing for him to fix or change about himself, & he knows what he's doing, according to him.  I never thought I would get to the point of wanting out of my marriage but I'm tired.  It's been rough from the word go & we've only been married for 3 years.  I want my marriage to work but it doesn't seem like he does.  I'm so tired.  I've prayed, I've cried, I've fussed, & I've said nothing just to try to keep peace.  Nothing is working.  Any ideas????????  Anyone, I'm desperate!!!!!!!!!

Would you like to answer or comment?

Sign up for a free account, or sign in (if you're already a member).
Answer this question
Share Send to a friend Watch Report
 
 

Posted Answers

Order by
 

well im only hearing well reading one side of the story but from what i know and i have seen this before my advice move on get out while the getting is good couse his attitude is only giong to get worse until he whinds up hitting or hurting you GET OUT!!!!find a man that will love and respect you for who you are.best wishes and luck to you girl.
Posted 2 months ago ( permalink )
Rated as
#3 out of 11
0
2
  Report Abuse  

Helpful?

line
line
line



 
dogbreeder
2077 answers
3032 thumbs up

Live simply, love generously, care deeply,

speak kindly, leave the rest to God.

He probably has another woman on the side.  Ask him why he's acting this way to you.  Suggest marriage counseling.  if marriage counseling won't work, file a divorce and get out of his life.  get a very good lawyer to help you get a favorable settlement.  Don't allow anymore emotional abuse from that man.

Good luck to you and take good care of yourself and your kids.
Posted 2 months ago ( permalink )
Rated as
#4 out of 11
0
2
  Report Abuse  

Helpful?

line
line
line



 
OronD
4529 answers
6682 thumbs up

Love is the battery of life....

Hi,
The easiest thing is to give up, leave the marriage and break a family....  no, sorry that the way only if you did your best to solve the problem.  I read that you "prayed, cried, fussed, & said nothing...." you didn't mention any attempt to discuss, to find out what went wrong, to find out what bothers him, etc....  If you can't handle it by yourself get a proffesional counseling....  only if anything fails than think of a divorce..... Now it's much too early.  
Best regards,
Posted 2 months ago ( permalink )
Rated as
Best Answer
0
6
  Report Abuse  

Helpful?

line
line
line



 

We do talk; as for a discussion.  When it comes to what went wrong yeah, I understand his pt. of view.  But he refuses to accept my issues.  Just for example.  We are a blended fam.  we ea. have 2 kids from previous relationships.  When he began to discipline my I acknowledge that I had a problem w/it.  I even admitted 2 yrs. down the line that my interferance is possible for some of the problems we are having w/our children.  He doesn't let things go.  So now we are at the pt. where he doesn't like me.  How do I know he tells me.  He's so stuck on he's tired of being miserable w/me so when I tell him do what he thinks is best for himself that's when he began to speak like we have a chance.   As for counseling; No way.  He will never go.  I've ask 2 x's. 

I really appreciate the info. you've given me.  I too feel it's much too early for me to give up.  But it gets really hards sometimes.
Posted 2 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to OronD's answer
Rated as
#6 out of 11
0
0
  Report Abuse  

Helpful?

line
line
line



 
Equus
564 answers
644 thumbs up

   " I have my Freedom , but I don't have much time " Wild Horses . The Stones                                                  Protect The Mustang .

                                       

                                                  

                                                              



 
                                                                                                             

Good advice from OronD 2 thumbs up .   Dreamcickle,   If I have this straight , he is NOW talking to you about saving your marriage ?    Tell him that you think the two of you need some professional counseling , IF he truly wants to try and mend the marriage then he will agree to go .   He must understand that in order for this to work the both of you need to be 100% commited and there CAN BE NO INTERFERENCE FROM A THIRD PERSON .   Point blank ask him if he is comitting adultery , that you want the truth .  It is going to come out in counseling I would say if he is , so give him the chance to tell you the truth .  And it could be that he is not , and it could that he is going to try and lie about it , you know your husband watch his closely when you ask this and await his answer .   Tell him you are still in love with him and ask him if he is still in love with you .  Tell him you miss him and want your marriage and husband back .  Seeing your family 12 days out of a month , is not good .  What type of work does he do ? 

 
Posted 2 months ago ( permalink )
Rated as
#2 out of 11
0
4
  Report Abuse  

Helpful?

line
line
line