Wow..........I certainly did not mean to come across as cold hearted.  Maybe I didn't paint the picture as clearly as I could have.  I can understand why you would think that without knowing the WHOLE situation.  We've been seeing each other 3 1/2 yrs, and we want to be married, but the situation he's in right now won't allow that.  I feel I've been more than patient, believe me.  If you only knew!!  So I guess you're saying I should just sit here and wait another number of years to even be engaged?  We can't even go out of town for a night together!  And we've dated 3 years!  He's never even spent the night at my house!  In 3 yrs!!  You're probably thinking ......that poor, sweet lady......well trust me......she's not sweet....she's mean and EXTREMELY disrespectful of him----extremely!  Even my parents think she should be in a nursing home, as mean as she is.  They say there's no sense in him having to put up with being treated like that.  Well, maybe this helped.....maybe it didn't.  I just don't know what to do, that's all.  Loving your mother is very admirable----but maybe he's too much of a mommy's boy?  And just for the record.......my mom is alive and well----and I love her too.