My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. This past year, we were having a rocky relationship because he was letting girls, who would express their deep feelings for him to him or by breaking up with their boyfriends (sometimes boyfriends of 2+ years) and telling my boyfriend about it. My boyfriend sometimes would do awful things like compare me to them or try to make me think he was going to be with them. He knew it would upset me, but he just thought it was hilarious what they were doing and would call them sometimes after midnight, text them constantly throughout the day, lie to me about them majority of the times, and put aside plans with me for them.
It wasn't until two months ago that he finally realized that he was going to lose me and stopped. But even still, I have sneaky suspensions but he has proved me wrong about them so I'm beginning to trust him again. About two weeks ago, I was at his house and the whole day was going awful, on account of him not getting sleep or something, and we got into an argument. He left me just sitting there, crying and went and played on the computer with his headphones on. I started to cry harder and felt like I couldn't breathe, so I went outside and 5 minutes later called a friend who lived a few minutes away and we hung out with a couple of other people for about 30-40 minutes.
When I went back to my boyfriend's house, he was gone and it was 11 at night. I called his cell phone but it was dead. When he came home finally, he told me he went looking for me and couldn't find me. I told him I went for a walk. I lied to him. But of course, the truth came out only 5 minutes later. It was the first time I ever lied in our entire relationship. And it was for five minutes. Now, he is treating me like I cheated on him and killed his family. He is using this as an equivalent of EVERYTHING he did. He told me he doesn't trust me at all anymore, because I lied for a stupid reason. We had just gotten into a fight, and I wanted to tell him where I was but I didn't want to argue again, so I tried to shrug it off and just go to sleep. For two whole days he wouldn't talk to me, or even say bye to me the way he normally would when I was leaving. That was two weeks ago.
After I went back home, he started being nice to me again. But everyday, it seems like a fight with him to get his attention or that he just doesn't care about me, and it was like that before the above incident. But he always tells me he loves me and preaches that he wants to 'marry me' when we get into our 30s. Last night, however, we were joking around about how much trust he has in me. I would NEVER DREAM to cheat on my boyfriend or be disloyal for a second and he knows that. But then he said "Yeah, but I stopped trusting you a few weeks ago."
Why is it that I lie one time, for ten minutes, and I get dragged through the dirt for it? But he can lie, all the time, for a whole years - and sometimes not even tell me the truth but leave it for me to find out the truth and I try to understand and try to work with him to make things better, but not rub it in his face that I don't trust him or that he is hurting me. I just.. don't get it. I asked him last night "Why would you continue being with someone you don't trust then? It's like you're just waiting for me to leave you." He said he isn't and that he wants to still be with me, but why the hell does it feel like I really just committed murder and gave birth to other men's children in front of him? He knows the people I went out with. He knows nothing bad would've happen and even says he doesn't think I went and cheated on him.
Blah. This whole thing is just driving me insane. I am on the verge of just leaving him. Because, although I apologized for lying - it felt good to finally make HIM be the one wondering where I was. But at the same time, this guy is all I know. He is my happiness.
I need an outside view on this. I need help on what to say to him. Thanks. :(