So I asked the question yesterday "Should I end this relationship?" and I got some answers back and I really appreciate everyone's responses!
So last night I did it, last night I told him that I didn't want to see him anymore, and that the trust issues and the "hiding" of information, etc. is just too much for me. He tried to fight it saying that I am rushing to get rid of him and that I just need to give him time to commit, that I am the only person that he cares about even if he does have other friends, etc. and he wants me to stay in his life and not stop talking to him no matter what.
I feel like I can't do that - if I stay talking to him it's going to go back to the way it was and I am going to deal with the same things over and over again.
My question is this: How can I be strong enough to not answer his calls/text messages and not let myself fall into the trap of going through this again. He is persistent, and I know that he is going to contact me and I will want so bad to write back or answer the call. I really do love him, I have talked to him every day for a year and to just cut that out completely is killing me, but I know I have to do it not to be miserable. I just would like some tips from you all to possibly help me feel strong and be able to get through this and move on.
I know I deserve better, I know I deserve someone who will completely give themselves to me, I just feel so hurt and sad right now and I just don't know what to do.
You cannot take love. You can only give it.
Never make someone a priority who ony considers you an option.
Well said dogbreeder! 2 thumbs up to you.
Player, you are sad and hurting because you are letting this guy control your emotions and no-one should control your emotions, except YOU.
Like dogbreeder said, don't mope around the house. Get out, connect with friends, find new interests and before you know it, you will be exposed to lots of new potential partners.
If you have trust issues with this guy and if you think he is hiding things from you, those are red flags you should not ignore. Stay with him and you are ignoring your own instincts. Down the road you'll be back on here telling us you should have listened to yourself.
Don't let him rent space in your head!!
Harmony seldom makes a headline--Silas Bent
Enemy of Entropy Fibrant Living Cyberstalked! Professional Portfolio
Try reminding yourself every time he calls or texts that every response from you is going to prolong the pain. He wants a reaction from you. Just don't give him one, at all. Pretend that he's dead, and these are just late deliveries due to some quirk.
If he's really annoying, consider sending him ONE, and ONLY one message, saying nothing but: "Please do not contact me in any way again. Further communications from you will be reported as harassment."
If he does continue, do exactly that - report him for harassing phone calls/text messages.
Good luck.
Life is like a Vapor, here then gone
You can swim all day in the sea of knowledge, and never get wet.
I have been in your shoes. If you have been unhappy for along time, and he refuses to change, than begs you when you want to leave, he really isnt trying. He would have done everything he could to not have this happen, or get this far. Keep your self busy. Its hard when you love someone, and you know its just "OVER", because you know in your heart, it will never change. I did it for 4 years, and I finally just let it go. I got a restraining order, because he wouldnt leave me alone. I know it sounds harsh, but you have to do what you have to do. I dont know how long you have put up with him, but it sounds like, your done. If you feel you deserve better, than you do. Dont settle, there will be someone out there for you. If you cannot trust him, its not worth it. Without Trust, there isnt much. Dont stay with someone, because your afraid of being alone, take this time, to think about your life, and your future. Letting go is never easy, but sometimes you just have to. Life is way to short, to settle for less.Soon those dark clouds will go away and you feel better about yourself, and you will welcome, new relationships.
Be honest and be true to yourself.
Hi,
You need to develop new friendships, they don't have to be with a man. You can go travel with friends, go dancing, get busy in your job, do anything that's not harmful to yourself, to get yourself occupied.
Always remember that you need to stay away from him. Don't mope around the house.
Michael,
2 thumbs up to you.
~ Snotternonsense BooNeathTreer ~
S.N.O.T.S., Inc.
Oh, Sweetie, if there were somthing to make it easier, we would never learn from the experiences we have. Just because you love someone does not mean that they are good for you. You made an intelligent decision, but the heart still wants what it wants. All you can do is fall back on the logic that ended the relationship. You know you can do better ~ you deseerve better ~ you have given him a year of your life. Spend time with family and friends. Try to keep busy. Have his phone number and his email blocked. Be proactive in improving your future! We are all here backing you up. Any time you need a shoulder, there are always shoulders available at Yedda. Hang tough, Sweetie!
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