Hello wishful..
It really seems that you have found yourself in the not-so-uncommon position that any of us who live life without full honesty to ourselves and to others, may find ourselves in (not much room between a rock and a hardplace).
On the one hand, you have a man that is in love with you, who has never known your true feelings for him. I can only surmise that he is good to you in ways that are good enough for you to have settled into a loveless relationship (materialisticly perhaps?)... On the other, you have a man that you are in love with, and you say also has strong feelings for you, but, you admit that they 'may not be as strong as yours.' He has told you straight-up that he feels it won't work out - because of the distance - what you may want to think about, is that distance is the reason he gives YOU, being the most distasteful way of telling you, with what he probably feels are insurmountable odds to you. He also has told you that he is to be deployed to Iraq in October. "Ah, what a tangled web we weave..."
It sounds to me, like he has given you plenty of reasons not to consider him as a long-term love interest. So; if you take time away from school, lose your job, and then find yourself in a relationship where the man doesn't really 'love' you - as you know first-hand, does happen, will you be terribly surprised?
Wishful my dear, what goes around comes around. Think Karma!! Then turn back, tell the man that you don't love him, and let the man be truly loved somewhere else, and I would also advise you not to run to this man in Hawaii, I believe that Karma will catch-up with you there.
I really think that you're going to have to come clean at home, and let the chips fall where they may. Yes, you may take some lumps! (figuratively, of course), but at least you'll be able to hold your head high when it's done. I wish you luck, and good reasoning on this one wishful. Time to step-up eh?
One thousand blessings, Wishful, ~J