I have been talking to a lady from the philippines for 10 days. she tells me she loves me etc. we talk but i use a phone card. is that safe? i sent a small gift not expensive she said she will send me a gift. she has told me about scammers in the local internet cafe she seems real has not asked for money. told me she will see me if I come to Philippines. We spend 4 hours on line a day. It just seem like a lot of work to scam me. How can I make sure I am not a victum?
"Let all that you do be done in love." " Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark"
There are many scammers on the internet from other countries..Some want to come to United states...Some want money. If they marry a US citizen they can stay here even if they divorce you...Be very cautious....Don't you think it's to early for her to be saying she loves you? She never met you....You only know what she has told you on the phone and internet....She could be lying through her teeth to get what she wants...Your decision in these matters could affect the rest of your life...Talk to your parents and friends...They will have your best interest at heart. I hope i have been helpful..Blessings, Veronica
Some people are willing to put a lot of time and effort into their scams. So, never underestimate anyone. Maybe she is trying to scam you or maybe she is sincere. The only way to know for sure is to give it time. If she ever starts asking you to send money, beware. Also watch out for crazy stories where she may need money(sick aunt, about to get evicted, in trouble with the law, etc.)
Be honest and be true to yourself.
Hi Ken,
I am from the Philippines and I fully understand the financial difficulties over there. People who are desperate would do anything to get what they want. A lot of women or men from third world countries would say things to men or women who are lonely and wanting affection. Don't be gullible. Take your time and get to know her more. You just don't know how many men she's talking to. If she mentions asking for money, be very careful. There were many Americans who were duped. Be sure you won't be one of them.
If you want to visit her, it's nice but be sure you have a lot of money to take with you. You'll turn out to be the "banker" over there.
A healthy relationship starts with trust and honesty and a big warm genuine smile.
I don't think there is any real way to know that you're not being scammed. However, I think that any woman who says she's in love with you after 10 days is lying. While she has not asked for anything as of yet, scammers work in a meticulous way; they don't ask for something up front and even their first few requests are not so substantial. It isn't until the other party (that would be you) is fully invested and thinks he's actually in love that the scammer will ask for a large amount of money. And by that time, you'll likely give it to her because you've already done other (although smaller) things for her that it will not seem like so much to you. (It's a concept in psychology called getting your "foot-in-the-door.") Do yourself a favor, don't invest even a penny more. If you're looking for love, look somewhere in the continental United States.
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I was visiting the Philippines in Davao with my interent lady and meet a man who was also meeting his "lady" for the first time, she showed up, they had a good time and now she is demanding he send her money for almost anything. He said no and she was GONE!
But there are so many good people there too, I had the time of my life and plan a future with my internet lady of almost a year now.
She didn't tell me she loved me for months after meeting.
good luck, be careful
I don't want to turn this into a scam topic but, here it is in a nut shell! Maybe this well save some one's bank account. If you think you have found the love of your life half way around the world and yes she loves you and has stopped chatting with all the other men bal bal
Have a friend write here a letter, saying he wants to get to know here or something, or just add a new screen name but be careful here because if she is smart she will use your "header" and find out the mail came from the same address and computer.
I've lived in Asia for a long time and have written on the subject of dating asian women, especially where it comes to what I call "agendas". In the west this is more commonly called 'gold digging'. In poor asian countries, there can be many agendas behind romantic interactions - relationships.
Here are some simple tests to tell if it is real:
1. Make her put effort into the relationship - the more effort she is putting in, the more likely she is for real. Time is not of great value to these people, not like westerners (who are more time conscious). So bait her to invest other things in you: sending gifts, doing favors for you, publically communicating things about your relationship to her social circle etc. Be creative about it.
2. Ask her "Why?" - if she tells you she loves you or gives other signals of wanting to escalate the relationship with you - ask her "Oh, really, that is sweet, why?" and wait for the answer. It is normally easy to tell when someone is not being genuine, because they falter on this. Don't seem challenging when you do this - you don't want to get their defenses up so they feel like you are testing them.
3. Ask her what her dreams are. I've found that most of the girls with agendas/ gold diggers tend to forget their manipulation game when you ask them this question (in a non-challenging way). Talk about your real dreams first. Then say, "do you have any dreams? What will you become and do in the future?" If she talks about things related to money... cars, etc. you'll get a much better idea about what motivates here.
Some bad news for you: From what you have said I'd estimate 99% that she is a scammer. Sorry. I'd recommend you look for love on your own turf, rather than foreign cultures that will make your life much more complicated, and have very high risks attached (in terms of your investment for return of genuine love and happiness).
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