How do I know if I have Dissociative identity disorder?
I feel like there are two halves to me, every time I look in the mirror I don't recognise myself, it feels like I’m watching my life through somebody else or like a TV show and that it's not actually me. And I have times when I sit down and think 'oh my god I’m actually me' and I get all hot and my heart starts racing and my chest feels heavy and I feel like I can barely breathe. I also buy stupid things I don't need, and don't remember doing it. Or doing things/going places and don't remember how I did it or got there.
Also ever since I can remember I get this weird thing, where any voice it’s like if I’ve heard something on the TV it just repeats what I’ve heard or can say anything and I can never remember what it is and it speeds up so fast and then goes into slow motion and it makes me feel scared and sick. I either need to eat all the time or I cannot eat at all. I go in and out of a relationship thinking one minute I don't want it and then next I’m in love with that person and that's really hurting the other person and killing me. I have started having panic attacks frequently. I get headaches and pains all the time for no reason, sudden bursts of happiness, sadness or anger. I feel depressed most of the time. And sometimes before I go to bed I can see myself, and it’s like I’m being shrunk to sooooo small and then I’m really really tall, or wide or skinny.
I tried explaining to my mum but she didn't understand said we all felt like this, but I want to go to a doctor but I’m really scared to talk about it and whether they'll just say well go to a counsellor and send me out.
I really, really need some help its getting so bad :(
