Why do people say, "You must have done something to deserve ...?"

Hi

Some people put foot in mouth...  People dont think.  God is the only person that knows what a person deserves and god dont judge.   I cant stand it when your childs dies and people says i know how you feel......How do they know !!!  If they have experence of the situation they can  share some of how you are feeling but not know how you feel

.God bless

Nanadee

Actions have consequences. However because B result follows A action, it does not follow that A CAUSED B.

The expression "you must have done something....." implies that the action was immoral and that therefore you are being punished. That is a false idea.

Your question leaves off the rest of it.

What if you won an award or got a medal - would you be complaining if they said, "You must have done something to deserve...?"

If it's a negative (as the prior answers imply), then I'd say you might best chalk it up to bad manners and thoughtlessness.

As such, you can either politely explain that they're mistaken or you might try confusing them.

Here's an example:

Person A: You must have done something to deserve a fine. What'd you do?

Person B: Thank you so much for your concern.

Person A: Yeah, okay. But what'd you do? How much was the fine, anyway?

Person B: Really? Okay, I'll take that under consideration.

As you can see, the answer you give has nothing to do with their question - which ultimately confuses them and may make them stop asking.

If they continue asking questions, you can try simply saying "Thanks for asking." Sometimes, they'll automatically say "You're welcome" to your 'thank you' and they'll end up being too embarrassed to ask again.

Good luck!

If there is anybody that has a terminal illness and they are suffering, they must have done something do deserve this? Please give me a break. I could never understand the so called logic behind this statement.

I swear if we were all sitting at the same table and giving our answers and someone would listen to what we were talking about and we just looked at him or her and we gave help the answer from each of us..He or she would go to the kitchen and holler  " what are you guys drinking.  Cause this sounds interesting but in order to understand what i am doing i had to fix me a drink also and he or she looks and see's  were even drinking nuttin but water ....And that is hows it goes..........Whats up doc !    I should be in bed cause i done took  my nite nite pill.............And having a hard time focusing.

Good nite yedda land.........Tommorow.

Yo'll keep having fun

God bless

Nanadee  

Simply because some people don't want to believe that bad things can simply happen to people. They don't want to admit that people can, through no fault of their own, be poor, or sick, or homeless, or disabled, raped, or any number of things. It's a really subtle way of making themselves feel superior by making someone else feel inferior. But believe me, if something horrible happens to them, they are very quick to find someone else to blame rather than thinking they did something to deserve it.