This is a question I wish more parents asked. I have a family riddled with disability...My sis is 30 and has Cerebral Palsy, her daughter has VATERS syndrome, my sone had Kyphosis, SID and hypotonia, my cousin has Downs Syndrome. Needless to say there is a ton of teasing that this family has endured. Unfortunatly, it all starts with the parents.
Children are inqusitive by nature, so when they innocently point and asked mom or dad what is wrong with a child that looks different, mom and dad get the finger down and say it is not polite to point and run away with red cheeks. However, they have not answered this innocent question, just made certain it will be asked again.
Mom and dads need to let their children know that everyone is different and that these children should never be picked on as they have more stuggles then one can ever know as it is.
we need to teach compassion and understanding. you know my sister only has one good hand, and I once gave a speech in college that explained the next time you want to make fun of a disabled person, bend down and try to tie your shoe with one hand...and if after that you still wanted to make fun of someone less fortunate then you, go ahead. It is a good rule and I tell children this all the time...for a brief time they are in the other persons shoes and can see just how hard the most simple task can be for someone else.
Sorry that was long...another thing is...we all want our kids to fit in and have nice things...But, not all of us let them know how hard we work for them and that sometimes not everyone has the name brand sneaker and jeans. I make sure to get my children iteams from macy's to the thrift stores...so that all children he goes to school with, he knows he is no better then.
There are so many clicks in schools and that will never change...Just teach your child to cherish good and loyal friends and that whatever click she lands in, if they show compassion, love and support for one another, that she is in the right one.
Friendships we make in grade school can last a life time. My Best friend Sarah and I are on our 22nd year, still talk everyday. She is like a sister.
Good Luck and You are a good mom for being concerned.
Jackie