Shyness is rooted in fear — an irrational fear of speaking up and being humiliated or ignored. Why are some people so afraid of speaking out? In my mind the main causes are oversensitivity and insecurity. When you associate speaking out with pain and embarrassment, you’ll do almost anything to avoid it.
Unfortunately, shyness is an enormous detriment to success. For people who share this problem, it’s important to understand the causes and work towards overcoming it.
Here are some great tips here:
http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/overcoming-shyness/
Here are also some free e books that will help you overcome the fear of communicating and will add more confidence to your life.
http://confidentlifestyle.com/Documents/Unstoppable%20Confidence%20rev.pdf
http://confidentlifestyle.com/Documents/Effective%20Communication%20Skills%20rev.pdf
http://confidentlifestyle.com/Documents/Fearlessly.pdf
- Practice becoming fascinated by other people. Ask them about themselves, and concentrate when they answer you. Remember what they tell you about themselves so you can talk about it later, or on another occasion.
- Great socializer's make other people feel comfortable and interesting. How do they do that? By being really, genuinely interested in other people. If you are talking to someone and you feel boring or inferior, ask why that is. Is it really all your fault?
- Practice using fewer 'personal pronouns' when you talk about things. Sentences beginning with 'I' are not only a turn-off for the listener, they also keep the focus of attention on you, which increases shyness. (Note: Of course, part of friendship is giving away things about yourself, but only when you feel it is appropriate to do so.)
- Remember that the way to overcome shyness is to focus elsewhere. Like on imagining what it will be like to really enjoy the social event, on how it will feel to be full of energy, or to be having a great conversation with someone.
Good luck and best wishes in all you do.