What can I do about my overbearing grandparents?

Is there someone else you can talk to about this? A family member? Aunt?  You can go on your own at 18 but you don't want to be out on the street. You can do worse in some foster homes.  I say you go to them and tell them your feelings. Be clear about how you feel about them. If you don't like them say so. It needs to be out in the open and what your plans for your future are.

Hi Silentmoon,

I really feel for you and all these sudden dilemmas at such a young age.They will make you more independent and mature though. So who do you live with now? I have ample experience of overbearing grandparents as I spent a lot of time with them when I was growing up and always got on better with my gran than my mum. I could never have lived with them though, their values are very old fashioned and they can be very controlling. When they get overbearing and controlling I just stop visiting for a few days and they get the message. You definitely need to be firm about your own life plans and not let them be dictated by anyone.Your awareness tells me that you will achieve this so keep strong and stand by your own values. If you tell me more about the situation I might be able to help further.

Normally I'd say you have a duty to your older relatives but i wouldn't in your case. Your grandmother's husband promised to love, honour and cherish her in SICKNESS and in health. Ultimately, she is his responsibility before yours and he should in no way be asking a young person to dedicate their life to a woman they are associated with merely by accident of birth.. 

I hate to say it but don't put your whole life on hold for a relationship you say you never wanted. Its hard but most people don't have kids to have their kids become their carers in their old age so reclaim your life. 

Honey it is respcetful to take care of the elders but since its so much stress it sounds like there is something wrong. And im guessing its because you and your grandmother never had a close relationship and never intended for it to be and also cause of her husband.

First of all her husband should take care of her.

Second of all talk to her about your chioces that you want to make and that you are ready to make them on your own.

Third of all just treat her nicley and when you talk to her don't make it seem like its a chore to be arounf her or to take care of her. She will probably find it offending.

Hope this helped.

Good luck :)

Hi silentmoon,

  My heart goes out to you sweetie.  I am a grandma myself, ( they all call me nana )  and i raised my grand-daughter since her mother ( my daughter ) her daddy and four year brother was killed by a drunk driver, who also died,  ( i asked god to take care of his suving wife and 4 kids )

Brittany was the only one that survied and god had his purpose because we were very close all of us and god spared her for me.  Brittany looks and acts like her mother tammy , more every day,  it was like having a little of my daughter still with me.  My daughter was like me  even our voices, no one could tell who they were talking to.  I guess this help get us thru it.   My grand daughter  was 8 years old and very brave a good child just confused as i was, but we got thru it and alot of family members thought i was too old to raise her, but with me she wanted to stay ///  their was alot of time and battles from everyone in courts  but i asked god to do what was best for brittany  and she came home with me , when she was   8 yrs old.  And now she is working as a dental assistence. With a good job and place to work for ( it is not near my house so its too far for her to drive ) so she not here with me every day.  But we call each other and talk , she even got me a cell phone for when i am driving.  She comes over on saturday,s  and helps me.  I thank god for her every day.  I need to know more about your sad situation.  Does your dad or any other family member like a uncle / aunt / brother or sisters live close and keep in touch with you ?  My heart goes out to you but i need to know more of the situation..................You and grandma need a heart to heart talk between the two of you  she is grieving also and you probaly remind her of your mom ( which was her daughter  but again i dont know how close they were )  and she is a little behind on today,s way of thinking as your mom.S day when she was raising your mom.  It was hard for me to have a grand child  4 years younger that brittay to start over raising some one again,  but britt was only 8  where you are a teenager that can take care of herself better.  Got pro and con.  If you and grandma can talk together,  me and britt had a thing we held in our hand called a talking stick,  and person that held the talking stick got to talk and try to tell what the promblem is with out being rude to each other and being mean.  Dont be disrespectful to each other and don,t hold the stick all the time take one question at a time..  Write them on a piece of paper before hand ( both of you )  and set a talk time , day, and how long.  You can take breaks also.    This is between you and grandma unless you are disrepecting  grandma  or vice versa then grandpa can come in on the situation but he dont have a stick !!!!!!! He cant talk   he just ask you two to take a break and cool off.  This is what me and britt did cause its hard with 2 females in the house ( young one that has her views and ways )  and older one that is set in her ways over the years  haha

I will put on the prayer list at my church .  I hope i help some

And please e-mail me nAnadee1475@aol.Com  So i know how you are doing and if you want to talk.  Please dont quit your education........Go to better and better

Take care and remember god loves you .  Keep god in prayer and have faith in god and everything will work out.  I,ll be praying for you.  God bless    Keep in touch please

Till later     

I guess that my mother is better than her husband

First of all Why cant her husband take care of HIS wife? Yes, I do think you have a little responsibility to take care of her because she is family but not so much you cant move on with your life. Second of all do what you want to do. It is your life not thiers. Do what makes you happy. I wish you the best of luck. Just remember she took care of you. Treat her nicely. The last thing I said to my grandma Was not something I wanted to say to her before she died.