my first and only child is 2 1/2 year,and am 38, because of my age, i do not think i want to have another child but my partner do want more. am i being selfish,for not wanting to have more kids,at my age or she he.
I think it's something you need to put more thought into, but no, I don't think you're being selfish.
Well I think in no way the issue of having more kids when someone doesn't want them should be pushed, it only puts strain on the relationship. look @ jon & kate plus 8 after her twins she said jon lets try 1 more time & got 6 out of the deal & now there haggeling through divorce it was to much strain on them. Let alone the older you get as a woman the more potential for developmental disabilities and you have to ask yourself if your a strong enough person to raise a child that needs more than the average child not everyone is cut out for it. However in truth the people that say you're selfish in turn are selfish themselves...if anything outline your reasons to them of why you just want your one child and oh yes don't forget about adoption if it mainly has to do with not wanting to give birth again so many kids need homes.
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It really is not clear by this post if southstyle is a man or woman. It might be a man who doesn't want more children and his "partner" does. Or it might be two gay women, one who wants children and the other who doesn't. Or maybe a woman who wants more, but her male partner doesn't. There are two sides to this: 1) anyone who doesn't want children should feel free not have them; and 2) anyone who does want children should feel free to have them. 38 is definitely not too old to have children, and you're not selfish for the way you feel, but the two of you must make the decision--not rely on the people here to provide the answer. This will be a life-long decision. Talk it out and, hopefully, come to an agreement one way or the other.
http://www.pregnancy.org
Here are some factors to consider when you're trying to decide whether you're ready to have another baby:
from the article "Are You Ready to Have Another Baby?"
Bottom line is that once you have weighed all these factors, you should have a pretty good idea about whether or not you want another baby. Only you know what your limits are.
Sit down with your partner and your answers to these and other concerns and talk about it. Listen to his side of it as well. You are not selfish if you are willing to communicate with your partner and have a honest back and forth discussion.
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You have every right to have hesitations at that age. If you don't think you're capable of making it through another pregnancy, then discuss it with him. Ask him why he wants another baby and tell him your fears. If you're on the fence and are just scared of the health complications, then consult your doctor. 38 is a common age for women to give birth. Good luck!
Be honest and be true to yourself.
Hi,
If you're not comfortable having a baby at your age, he needs to understand you and not impose on you. After all, you're the one who will go through the pregnancy, not him. At your age, you are prone to have the complications with advanced maternal age.
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