I need to know...

Why would a guy all of the sudden think that sex is gross? We have been happily married for 15 years and then out of the blue he tells me. We are still best friends, but now we don't have sex. I have done everything to make myself more appealing. Nothing. I am thinking he is wanting something else, but afraid to tell me. We have good communication, but he won't open up on this.


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Woodbridge
95 answers
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Sounds to me like he's not telling you something important but I really don't think it has to do with cheating. Perhaps he has some medical problem that he doesn't feel comfortable sharing with you. I think the idea of going to a marriage counselor is a good one because it doesn't look like he's going to open up to. The counseling might do the trick.
Posted 8 months ago ( permalink )
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Woodbridge was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

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Deborah
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The road to nowhere is paved with good 'intentions'.

You posted this question quite awhile ago..  I hope you got to the bottom of the problem.  But if not, I'd like to tell you what I think about all this...

(It's totally Mental!!!)  I have had those same feelings about sex at times... and no, nothing bad has ever happen to me. I've never been on medication, or had a physical problem, I'm not gay or into pornography... and I love my Husband very very much, I'd never cheat on him, he's tall dark and handsome.. so sexy, but I'll tell you the truth, sometimes I think "sex" is a discusting thing to do!  Frown

I don't get it!  It really is a weird mental problem. Which prompts me to ask you - to ask your husband, no offense please, .. but does he smoke some, or a lot of pt ???  Because 'mentally' speaking, I've heard it does have potential to ruin your mind about sex... at least for some people.

If you work this out with him, one way or another, can you let us know when you have some time?   I'd like to know if this weird feeling can end!  Thanks!  Smile
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Okay, so I don't really know what that was all about. He says it was just a weird funk he was in. ??? I suppose I will never know whether he was cheating, or fantasizing about other things or what. It did damage our relationship in more ways than he realizes. I don't think I can trust his love anymore. It was the worst form of rejection I have ever experienced. It wasn't about sex, it was about the intimacy. A bond between husband and wife that unites them. Without intimacy, the relationship is severed. I am still with him and he doesn't want me to leave, but I think inevitably I will. Sad ending to a sad story..
Posted 2 months ago ( permalink )
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DB Lady
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Live simply, love generously and  care deeply.

 

Hi,

    Are there any children involved in this marriage?  Have you tried to go to a sex thrapist or a sexologist?  Please try to be more patient with your husband especially if you have children together.  They are the ones that suffer the most. 
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Deborah
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The road to nowhere is paved with good 'intentions'.

Right.... dogbreeder hit on the greatest point., 'children'!!! We have a little one, and she occupies so much of our time, from morning till night,  every thought I have involves her... I think that is exactly what the problem is!!!  I simply can't relax around my husband, I feel too self-conscience now with her around!  Even when she's with a baby-sitter, or asleep.. I feel like a "MOM"..and he is her "DAD"... period.  My mind actually says, (we have to be responsible now, it's not about sex and hanging all over eachother, we are Parents for God sake!.. what would that little girl think!)... God, I just realized, I think like a prude!

Thank you dogbreeder! I can finally understand were this messed up mind game is coming from!

Dear somethinghastochange, could this be your husbands problem too?  Do you have kids???

 
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