I need to know...

Why would a guy all of the sudden think that sex is gross? We have been happily married for 15 years and then out of the blue he tells me. We are still best friends, but now we don't have sex. I have done everything to make myself more appealing. Nothing. I am thinking he is wanting something else, but afraid to tell me. We have good communication, but he won't open up on this.

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Woodbridge
95 answers
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Sounds to me like he's not telling you something important but I really don't think it has to do with cheating. Perhaps he has some medical problem that he doesn't feel comfortable sharing with you. I think the idea of going to a marriage counselor is a good one because it doesn't look like he's going to open up to. The counseling might do the trick.
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OronD
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Love is the battery of life....

Hi,


Yoy didn't mention how old you are but in any case it's a bad sign.  You are sensetive & smart to realize it need attention (and quick !).   I'll give you a list of the most common (frequent) reasons (no offence please):
1.  He has someone else.
2.  He has some medical problem.
3.  Mid-age crises ?
4.  Some major problem (work, family,
     financial, parents, business, boss....
5.  Something went wrong in your
     relations ?.
6.  Major chages in his hormone
     balance. 
7.  Psychological problem (dipressed ?).
8.  Did it declined during the years or
     did it stoped all of the sudden ?
9.  Do you love him ? Does he loves
     you ?  are you attracted (physically)
     one to the other ?
10.  Do you both "nurish" ( supply the
       required "vitamines") your 
       relations ?.
If you really have (as you mentioned) good open communication with him better discuss it with him (openly and deeply).... Please be smart and sensetive.... don't hurt him and make it clear that you want the bring your relations back to loving tracks....
Best regards,
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fatherof5children
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Children are God's gift to the world... 

It sounds extremely bizarre that after 15 years of marriage that a husband would one day tell you, his wife, he thinks sex is gross. Something just doesn't sound right about this situation. Are you sure he's not cheating?

I think your best option is to seek out marriage counseling. It's worth investing in professional help if you really want to save this part of your marriage. Good luck!
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So he refuses to go to marriage counselling and refuses to talk about any of this. He just gets mad. He doesn't want to seperate and says there is noone else. Could he be struggling with his sexual orientation?
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Woodbridge
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Could very well be but there are other possible reasons for the way he's acting. The only way to find out is to get him to talk about it with someone, no matter who that is. Till that happens you can continue guessing the problem but it won't help solve it. I realize the impossible situation you are in but try telling your husband you feel it's necessary in order to help your marriage. Explain to him that you can't go on like this in hope that he'll realize how severe the situation is.

Good luck. 
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