The need for intimacy in a marriage

Intimacy is very important in a marriage, however, it also has to be interesting otherwise, you get bored. For example, if my husband just comes to me and wants to have sex, I'm generally not interested, but if we were going to have sex in the livingroom, in the bathroom or just anywhere else but our bedroom, then I am all for it. So I spice it up for us once in a while, he never knows what to expect and neither do I. Why we are very happy even after 15 yrs., of marriage

Keep it exciting, after all, we only live once huh????   Have fun experiment!!!!!!!!

Hi Bobby,
Adriana gave you one idea (gave her 2 thumbs up).  I'll deal with your question a bit deeper:  Sex is very often a reflection / mirror to the relation.  No offence, please, but I can bet your relations are bumpy if not bad.....  If she dare saying to you: "if you don't like it you can leave" that's a very bad sign.  There is no love in your relations and I bet you are not good friends (on top of being married).  I can also bet that you are not discussing things (open and deep) in fact I can bet you hardly talk and there is low respect..... The best way to "solve" your problem is to improve (dramatically !) your relations.  If you can't do it by yourself better get a proffesional counseling.  At 58 there might be some other issues (health, hormones, problems,......) as well.  
I appologize if I was direct and blunt (I only ment to help you and open your eyes). 
Best regards,

Hi,

    My friend OronD gave you great answers, gave him 2 thumbs up.  In addition to his suggestions, she needs to see her Gynecologist to test her hormonal levels.

   Just be patient with her, show her that you care even if she's refusing intimacy.

She just needs some hormonal supplement.

Take care.

To try and spice things up a bit visit http://www.pjtra.com/t/Qz5DR0dIPkJHR0NJPkNHSEg and be very romantic. Show that you care and that sex is'nt a big deal. That will show her that you're ready when she is willing and not just being pushy for her to have sex with you. You think in a marriage having sex would be automatic but often times marriage or not; most women need to know that their mate cares more than just about sex.

Do you mean that she wont even let you hold her hand, or hug her or snuggle with her?  I would take her to counseling ~ that way, you will know if there is any reason to continue with the marriage.  If she is refusing to change, then the change must be yours.  Yes, there is more to marriage than sex, but honestly, marriage without sex is the pits.  It is the fun stuff that makes all the other day to day crap we have to deal with bearable!!  Ask her why she doesn't want your touch anymore.  Find out her reasons. And like DB Lady said, get her hormone levels checked.

you don't give much information, but from the little you've said i's say she is seeing someone on the side , who is first taking care of her most important emotional needs and secondly her  physical desires.  the emotional needs feed the physical desires in women. 

well mister from my prrospective there's sumin definitely wrong in you guys relationship......if u guys want ur relationship to wrk....or u want the relationship to work u shud tek counselling...which is the best thing ....if not doesnt wrk den u guys shudnt b together if u love her then u shud think what meks  her happy u wud b happy becuze there's nuffiin more to mek the one you happy...yaa it wud b tuff but at the long run everything happens for a reason....and i m 100 percent sumin is wrong with ur wifie either she's cheating or sumin esle.... but everything is leff in ur hands...do wats best and wat rite for u and ur marriage....

bye bye.......GOODLUCK

I would want to know why SHe says she feels this way. If you have young children you may wish to weight it out until they are up and out. Intimacy is an integral part of any relationship, and denying sexual relations with a loved one is callous and selfish. Perhaps she needs to visit her doctor. She may need some help there.