I need some serious advice help on Yedda - People. Sharing. Knowledge.

I need some serious advice help

Hi, I feel terrible, confused, and I need some really good advice. I'm in a relationship for about almost 8 months now and there has been trust problems in the past along with other issues. Right now my significant other has this new job and all of a sudden the job is number one. I feel replaced, like theres no time for me, and I absolutely hate where she works. She works with a good friend she used to hook up with, who jumped her and I hate her so much. She also works so far and I have no idea who she works with. When it comes to her job I get angry and mad and this progresses as the days go on and she continues working at this job. Ive expressed my feelings in every wich way I could. I just don't feel this is the right job for her. So I've asked numbers of times to look for another one and she seems to not care how I feel. She acts like its all about her or im not happy for her and thats not it at all and I made that clear. Shes says to me "How can u ask me somethig like that?" Well we broke up because of this and I don't know if I'm over reacting because I've tried to look past the job thing and no matter how hard I try I can't help the way I feel and I can't help but get angry and hang up on her. She really isn't considering changing jobs and it will just fix everything. I do feel its silly breaking up over because the love was never gone we still have it. I just get brought back into the feelings about the job and it drives me away. If she would just get a new job it would make everything better. Any ideas? I need help please. Should I put the unbarable feelings aside and stick with her? Or should I make the breakup permanent?? What do you think?

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fakir005

43 answers

The girl is very wise. Her job has to come first. She can't sayK I'll become unemployed so I can be with my bf. You expect too much from her. why not try getting a job near where she works. I do not know if she'd like the idea. If she does not then there is nothing u can do except to hit your head against the wall. I tell there is no eternity in love and in relationship. U say she is working with her ex. It is now in the Gods hands. After all he is her ex. U are her present. May be she would prefer u to him. May e she prefers him to u. That is how life is. U ask if u should make the break up permanent. hat kind of question is this. Ofcourse if you have sy=ufficient will power to make the break up permanent why not end your agony and make it permanent.

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Skitch

1763 answers

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Surrender. Surrender. But don't give yourself away . . . .

~ Cheap Trick ~

I think you are jealous, and I think it is time to grow up. You are jealous of this other girl being able to spend time with her, and you are angry that she is choosing the job (but really the other girl) over you. You expect her to change her life because of your jealousy. Life doesn't work that way. If you canot trust her, then the love would never have worked anyway. You acted childishly, breaking up with someone you supposedly love to manipulate them into doing what you want them to do so that YOU feel better. Stop thinking about yourself all the time. The job is probably a really good opportunity. Get a second job for yourself, so you are occupied when she is, or start a hobby, or take some night courses. There are plenty of options for you, but her leaving a great job in this economy because you are jealous?? . . . .. that would be stupid.

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TechnoMom

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Harmony seldom makes a headline--Silas Bent

Enemy of Entropy
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No action "fixes everything." What if there's an attractive person at her next job? You'll just get jealous all over again.

You need to deal with your jealousy problem. Jealousy is almost always about insecurity. Is she giving you reasons to feel insecure, other than not giving up this job? You haven't mentioned any. Does she talk about the ex a lot, or spend more time with that person (other than work hours) than with you? Does she compare the two of you? If not, stop worrying. Keep in mind that she has chosen to be with you, not the other person.

If you keep pushing her to quit, you're very likely to drive her away from you.

Posted 2 months ago ( permalink )

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