Should I marry him?

With a screenname like "hemplover" and the fact that your boyfriend thought the armed forces was a good career move, I am probably pretty accurate saying that neither one of you should be getting married and having kids. People like you support my argument for sterilization of most humans by the age of ten. From a Beirut vet and an American that had a vasectomy at the age of 22.

I am a veteran military wife(my husband served his 4 ys and wasl ike screw the military BS and now were done with the military :) )!LOL Im only 23 but my hubby and I were high school sweahearts and married right out of high school, now if that is not hard enouph i do not know what is! Yea the 1st yr is REALLY hard being in a different state (if your not lucky :P), having no family or friends to run to but I have to say...IT WILL be the best time ofyour life! and wll make your marriage een stronger!!!!! I hve NO regrets being a military wife I actually LOVED it. Of course you sometimes feel lonely, esp. since some guys loose touch on how to be effectionate besides in bed you really do find hope and love with friends who are miltary wives (and mothers) like you. And I have to tell you havin our 2 kids I needed all the support I could get and OMG my husband's job dealt with 10 to 12 hrs shifts...so other wives who's husband worked with mine stuck togethr and of course made oher friends as well within a year being there in SC I had atleast 2 friends calling me daily wanting to do diff. things. IT was AMAZING having choices! Of what to do that day or if I just wanted to lounge around the house. I DID NOT need my husband for anything bc I took care of EVERYTHING!, I had my girls to fall back on and to keep me busy!(i mean literally we would help clean each other's houses!!!!what kind of friends do you have that do that?!? you really wont find friends like you will in the military!) If I was lucky I had my husband on wkends too...I was pratically a single mom monday thorugh friday...and I have to tell you having a loving and devoted husband always there just working his ass off for us so I can stay at home and finish school was great yet hard in itself but seeing with my own eyes how TRULY independent woman I am, and how I REALLY DO NOT need my husband...I REALLY DO NOT need a man to be able to run a household and take care of my kids is the GREATEST feeling in the world. Many real single moms can say that after going through LOTS of struggle but I am SO greateful  I don't have to deal with struggle and have my husbnd by my side but still see it with my own eyes I AM independent. And you relly do grow up A LOT but it is somthing I WOULD NOT CHANGE FOR THE WORLD!! You become family with friends your stationed with bc you just have each other, yea we were sad we left and at times I miss it(military life). Ifanything you will hate wherever you are stationed but when you get out of the miltary yopu will miss it SO bad and all the good memories. If you trlyLOVE this guy and can't see yourself without him then yes marry hm, the role as a military wife is hard but I think ONLY STRONG WOMEN to begin with can take up the real challenge.

The secret of it all is to find women who are on the same page with you at the same base or online. I mean sometims it was like a party for us when the husbands left because we would plan movie nights, sleep overs ... of my girls and our kids! SO MANY great memories! YOu have to be positive...there are SO many negative people who think the worst or what have you but with the military i learned also "expect the worse so when the best happens you can enjoy the moment even more!!! ":) You will be fine, don't worry!!! :D GOOD LUCK!

this is my point of view. I am in the army and currently in Iraq. My girlfriend wanted to get married before i deployed. a month into my deployment she was cheating on me. and we were together for 2yrs.  its not that we cant be faithful its when were gone, can you be? If u truely love him, then you should marry him. As a soldier, we do get deployed alot it just recently went from 15months to 12months.  we have more then enough time to spend with family while we are home. they give us alot of time off.  You wont have to worry about him being a good husband or father bc im sure he will be. Just do what your heart tells you to do.

Hi,

   You need to ask yourself if that is the kind of life you like to live, have a husband who is not around much.  For me marriage with someone means that we will be together to enjoy the companionship that people get from marriage, it's not only sex, but the togetherness is very important, the sharing part.  I don't know how the military wives do it, I admire them a lot.  Is it not nice to have a husband to sleep with and a husband to wake up with?

    I'm sure he could be a good father, how can you say though that he could be a good father when you don't see the way he deals with the kids that much.

   You really have a lot to think about.  It is your decision and when you decide, you need to live with the consequence. Take care.

Do you really love him? If you do talk to him about your concerns. If he is understanding he will understand. Please make sure this is what you really want. Divorce is ugly worse death is uglier. I just love your profile. I hope you give me your input on my answer. Celestemoon