I have been dating a wonderful man for 13 months ...

Hi, 
No offence, please, someone has to tell you the truth (please don't kill the messanger): He is not serious. If he was serious he would marry you this year and wouldn't even wait for 2009.... If he speaks about 2014 he wants to make you feel good, get all the benefits, and do nothing..... I see it as warning lights.... please check it deeply something is fishy.... I have to warn you: If you check closely and deeply you'll, most probably, find something that will strongly dissapoint you, things that he hided from you (e.g: he is married).  I appologise, I only mean to help you, sure not to hurt you. 
Best regards,

Hi,

    My friend OronD gave you an excellent answer, as usual, gave him 2 thumbs up.  I was going to exactly say the same thing to you.  This man is not serious.  Did you ask him why 2014?  Please talk to him more, get to know him better as to where he lives, who he lives with, his job, meet his friensds.  Another suggestion is to go online and get a background check, it's only $20 to $40.00 for the report.  You will find out other things that he's  not telling you.  When you go for this background check, it will ask for his complete name including his middle name, his birthday, his home address and if you have a chance, find out his social security number.

    As OronD said, he might be married and just doing this to supplement his supply of sexual favors and chuckles, maybe he lives by the saying " Variety is the spice of life".

   If you found out negative things in the report and he gives you BS about your relationship, better not waste your time, get out of the relationship and stop giving him sexual favors because you'll be the loser in the end.  You need to find a man who is honest, responsible, and is willing to commit to a lifetime relationship.

Take good care.

girl, flip the script.  next time he talks about marriage, say, yah, you said 2017, right?  let HIM be confused.  i read your reply, and i think you know him well enough to know he doesn't have a woman on the side.  (however, i've learned the hard way that it's best not to be too naive about that.)  maybe 2014 has special meaning to him?? 

I think that he feels better about having a long engagement.  You will both be very sure of each other, and marriage is a scary business for most men.  If he watched his siblings have successful engagements and happy marriages this way, he may feel it is the best way to go.  You need to decide if this is really the man for you.  You could talk to him and say that you are willing to compromise ~ say maybe a 2010 wedding.  I am curious as to why you are in a rush.  13 months is not such a long time to know a man you will be spending the rest of your life with.

If you decide that a long engagement is not for you, then you need to be honest with him.  It will then be his choice on whether or not he is willing to speed up the process.  I think 5 years is a stretch ~ hell, at that point you are almost considered "common law spouses". Figure out how long you are willing to wait, give him that date, and then let him decide if he loves you enough to change his plans.

There are people out there that like to make life plans ~ they plan how long they will stay at a certain job, when they will marry . . .etc.  He may have this all set in his mind, so let him down easy.  He believes that all that planning will secure a bright future.