My man doesn't want to get married!!??????????!!!!!!!!!

Hi,
You can't force him.... I only wonder why does he thinks that marring you will ruin your good relations ?.  After 11 years you have all the rights to give him an ultimatum: "Either you marry me within X months, or that's the end" the other option is to accept it and remain his girlfriend for 22, 33, 44 additional years.....
Best regards,

Well, the way I see it, you can't change people, if he doesn't want to get married, he doesn't want to and that's that.

I think what you should do is try to figure out if you want to stay in a relationship with this guy even if it might mean  you will never be married. I was in a very committed 9 years relationship and we didn't plan to ever get married, we end up breaking up but over other things. My sister's with her boyfriend for the past 10 years and they don't have any plans to get married either - some people don't need that, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you or that he isn't committed necessarily, it just means he doesn't want to get married. 

Another option is for you to propose to him, make it big and public and formal (yes, get on one knee in a restaurants with violins and a ring and everything) and ask him for his hand in marriage, it might be that if this is an active act on your behalf and not a general talk he might go for it.  

Hi,

   I was carefully reading your question and I concluded that:

1.  Your boyfriend does not want to commit to you, you are the ones making the wedding plans.

2.  His statement " Why do you  want to _f___ a good thing?  He does not want to marry you or anybody.

     You were together for 11 years

  and he did not make up his mind of giving you an honorable title and status of MRS in front of  his last name .

3.  He did not even propose to you.  How can you marry if there is no

   marriage proposal from a man?  I know we live in a modern age wherein women are more aggressive  but not in this instance.

My dear, if you were my sister,  I would tell you to pack up your personal belongings, leave him there and find yourself a man who will respect you, not take you for granted and will honor you by making you his WIFE.

     Your man is not a man, he is still a BOY and you certainly do not want to marry a BOY.

do you live together ,sleep to gether, have kids together, if yes ,,, you are married. if a wedding is what you want then get the gown the tux all the friends and do the pictures... that is all that is left,, I am the same way, the paper does not define the relationship, it is the soul and the heart. Some of us are not sold on the whole wedding thing but a compromise would not be out of the question. some of us believe that if you need a certiacate to be committed to one and other than you are really not committed at all. If a wedding was all it took to make the relationship all better, than 85 % percent of the married couple we knew would still be married.

I am assuming you are living and sleeping together .  11 years why should he want to get married , he's got all the benefits of being married without comitting to you and honoring you by making you his wife . You continuing this relationship on HIS terms tells him it's ok , you approve . If he loves and RESPECTS you then he would marry you .  Respect youeself , tell him he either walks down the aisle with you or you walk out of the relationship .   You deserve better than this , he is playing house and you are letting him .