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SOPHIA
Always respect the person you love!!!
Asked about “Love & Sex on AOL Coaches”

My boyfriend of 5yrs. Was unfaithful, i went my ...

My boyfriend of 5yrs. Was unfaithful, i went my own way. I was more then hurt,i stoped total contact.Then we ran in to each other  3mht of not being together. We talked for about 2wks,so we got back together. Before i gave him an answer he promised that he would never do it aging.Should i take his word. Sophia(female,35) ooh i did everything for him. You name it i did for him!!!Undecided

 


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Love is the battery of life....

Hi Sophia,


Yes take his word.  Any good relation is based on 4 pillards: Trust + Openess + Communication + Respect.   Discuss that matter with him (trust) tell him you love him, that you want your relation to flourish, that you was hurt last time and you really hesitated B4 you returned to him, and you hope that he is responsible and keep his word.  Emphasize that it is extremely important to you. 
Best regards,  
Posted 2008-01-06T08:48:46Z
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Always respect the person you love!!!

thank you for your answer. you were very helpful

Wink
Posted 2008-01-06T09:30:34Z
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You can never step in the same river twice.

I do not agree with Oron. I think before you take his word, you need to find out what caused him to be unfaithful. Was it a night of drinking? Or did you guys fight? You need to find out why. There are too many questions you should be asking before you take him back into your life, unless you don't mind getting hurt again. It's possible that it really was a stupid mistake, and he does regret it. But he needs to make it up to you. He needs to understand the depth of your hurt and needs to not just say, but actually prove to you it will never happen again. Relationships are based on trust, and once that trust is lost, it is very hard to earn back. If you are willing to allow him the opportunity to earn that trust back, than take him back. If you do get back together, you may want to try couples counseling as a way of helping you two work on bettering your relationship. Good luck!
Posted 2008-01-07T14:51:26Z
lovedoctor71 was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

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Always respect the person you love!!!

so i have not replied to your answer i was having trouble w/my computer. I have asked him way did he hurt me in that way, if i have never gave him a motive to cheat on me. on my part i now and have kept him happy in every way that i new how. there was not a day that he had to clean,cook lift a finger. for special days i would always surprizs  him or on any given day i would do something out of no were. buy him gifts ect. so i just don't understand way. i guess i never will. i don't understand if you love someone and the one person does the imposable for you why would you cheat.

Posted 2008-01-13T08:44:08Z
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Enjoy both your destination and the path taking you there.

Sophia,

Perhaps you did too much.... a relationship is a union of 2 people. Each of you needs to put efforts into making the other happy.

In addition, I can tell you from personal experience, that when a guy works to be with you and it's not for granted that he has you and you do things for him, he gets much more emotionaly involved.

 May I also reccomend a book called "The Rules". Fortunately or unfortunately, it's the honest truth about guys and how to treat them in a relationship. Self tested..:)

http://www.therulesbook.com/rule9.html
Posted 2008-01-13T12:17:40Z
Wildberry was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

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Rated #3 out of 8
 
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You can never step in the same river twice.

When you asked him what made him cheat, what was his response? Did he say something like "it just sort of happened" or "I was drunk"?

Posted 2008-01-21T14:47:35Z
lovedoctor71 was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

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Always respect the person you love!!!

When  i asked him he didn't have an answer. At first. Then he said because i don't cuddle with him. My answer to that was u have to job and by the time he would get home i would be asleep because i would have to be at work before 7am. I never gave him any reason to cheat. I did every thing a woman should do for her spouse. So u see tell this day i ask my self that ? Way. He wants me to give him a chances for that truths i onces had and it's very hard for me to do that.  

Thank you for your answer. This i the only way i have to chat with anyone i don't have any one i can talk to. 

Posted 2008-01-23T01:26:44Z
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You can never step in the same river twice.

Have you asked him to attend couples counseling? You can tell him that this will be a helpful way for you to begin trusting him again.
Posted 2008-01-25T08:52:03Z
lovedoctor71 was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

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Rated #8 out of 8

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