My husband has had an affair and still is. what ...

Does your husband know that you know? I would probably leave him or ask for a seperation. If he knows that you know, and how you feel about it, then he clearly does not respect you enough. He should stop the affair and dedicate himself to you and to repairing your marriage. I don't think it is fair to call the woman a slut, when it is really your husband who is at fault. Does the woman even know that he is married?

Kick him well and truly out of your life. You have plenty of years ahead of you, at your age. Don't bother competing with trash. Your husband has chosen her over you, so let them have each other while you move on.

It really depends on what you want out of the situation.

 Do you want to break up ? if you do, confront him about the situation and leave, let the lawyer handle the details and money. 

If you don't want to break up you need to do 2 things,  first of all understand that this is the situation, he did something horrible, and you are really hurt, it's important that you have ways to deal and express you anger. However, this anger might not be the thing that will help you and your husband keep the marriage going. You are probably both very unhappy now, a very basic trust had been broken and you both need to find a way to restore it together so that you can learn to be happy together again.

Don't just wait for things to get better cause they won't. Talk to your husband - don't call the woman he was sleeping with slut, that won't really help anyone. explain that you are hurt and very angry, tell him that you don't want to break up but that you are not willing ot share him with another woman.

The only way I can think of that might truly help in restoring the trust is going to couple therapy and try to understand the root of the emotions that lead to him cheating on you. 

this is probably not what you want to hear but true.....you are worthly and deserving of so much more.  This man has obviously moved on, so should you.  Get a lawyer and file and get on with your life.  You have time and you will find someone worthly of you. 

It is a sad and painful experience you are going through.  It would be helpful if you talked to a professional.  They can help guide you through your specific situation so that you can see what it is you truely want and what is reasonably possible.  Of course it would be hurtful to you and any children you may have for you to leave or have him leave.  First and foremost you must feel secure and safe as well as protected financially,emotionally and physically.  Although I'm not a huge personal fan of Dr. Phill, he did write a good book that applies to all relationships.  Love Smart.  You may find it as well as The four Agreements.  They are easy reads.  All the best to you and your situation.  Take Care

Understand you have every right to walk away from this man. You deserve to be loved whole heartedly. But it is understandable that walking away isn't the easiest thing to do. When we love someone you can't just flip a switch to stop loving them.  Find out is he willing to save the marriage and can you forgive him. Don't hate him, Its ok to hate what he has done to you but hating him and her just drains that much more out of you.  Pray for answers and make your own choices about the situation. Advice from everyone else is helpfull but only you can satisfy your own happiness.

Good luck and God bless