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My mother and I are in an argument, a really bad ...

My mother and I are in an argument, a really bad one. I do not want to see her for mothers day. People are telling me I should anyway, but I am so hurt by the way she treated me the last time I saw her. She yelled at me for no reason, I was just having a conversation and she told me"TO JUST STOP IT NOW"!!! I asked her why she acted like that, and then she strated screaming at me in front of my daughter(who is 10) that I am setting a bad example for my daughter, she will not know right from wrong"!!! etc. My daughter hears enough arguing from my x and I, which has since stopped because I refuse to argue w/ him at all anymore, but my daughter does not need to hear her Grandmother screaming at me as well. I do not know what to do??? I am very upset w/ my mother, it was the last straw with me, because this has happened quite frequently. If someone could please give me some advice, I would great;y appreciate it!!!


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Live simply, love generously and  care deeply.

 

Hi,

     You need to speak to your mom one-on-one and for you to tell her that you did not appreciate her screaming at you in front of your daughter, if she has something to say, she should say it nicely and to not scream at you.  If she got upset again with you because you said that to her, then maybe you should not go see her on Mother's day.  But try to resolve this with her as soon as possible,  hopefully before the Mother's day.  She is the only Mother you have and she has cared for you when you were younger.


Posted 5 months ago ( permalink )
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Thank you for helping me, because I am very confused about this. I think you are right, the thing is very difficult to talk to, like you said to do. If I try to talk to her, she is the most defensive person I have ever known, and you really cannot get 2 words in without her snapping your head off. The thing is, she doesn't think she is in the "wrong"!! She thinks she is right about everything, and she never, ever apologizes to me?? I think the last time she apologized to me was when she hurt me ,physically when I was younger.I know she loves me, but I am really up set. It was almost the last straw, I know she's had a hard life, and just got over cancer, but she cannot continually take her problems out on me her whole life. Thank you, I am considering, but my gut is saying, No.And that really hurts because I did not want my daughter to be affected in any way with her Grandmother. I always supported a good relationship, and still do, but my daughter saw how upset I was the last time, she hugged me for a very long time.It was really sad.


Posted 5 months ago ( permalink )
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3480 thumbs up

Live simply, love generously and  care deeply.

 

Hi,

     I know how you felt.  My mother was exactly like you Mom.  She had goiter and made her so irritable that she made everyone's life miserable including my dad. Towards the end, 4 years before she passed away, she called all the children and asked for forgiveness because she said she could not help acting the way she did.  We all forgave her and she knew that even if she acted that way, we still loved her.  After all we owed her so much.  She was a very good mother, only very irritable because of her illness.  I do think that you should understand your mom's behavior.  She has cancer and you just don't know how long she will live.  Go to your mother, give her a big hug and just tell her you still love her inspite of everything.  Maybe this will be the best Mother's Day gift she will receive.  You don't want anything to happen without being in peace with the woman who pushed you at birth and gave you life, cared for you and loved you when you were helpless.  You owe this to her.

Have a nice Mother's Day.  This day will be the best Mother's Day to both of you if you will make peace with her.  Take care.


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Thank you very much, that is very true, and almost the same story as mine, except the apologizing part.  I appreciate your help, all the best to you, and your mom in heaven!!!And happy mothers day to you as well!!!


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Someone wrote to me, and she had very good advice, but I just could not take her advice, and I did not go and see  my mother, for mothers day, I am just to angry right now- I do not go there to visit, to be abused by her, and especially in front of my daughter.


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