Me and my husband have been fighting for4 years, I ...

It seems perfectly natural to me. Being with someone who keeps fighting with you all the time is not a good feeling. Having sex with someone like this is even worse. Your feelings are normal.

wtf!!

Didnt you answer your own question...when you said you cant stand to be around him...???? ? 

Four years of fighting must by now have taken a toll on you. While I understand your lack of trust for him over his failing a drug test, I don't think it's normal not to want to work on re-building the trust. Have you spoken to him about his failing? Has he told you what he'd done? Have you two tried marriage counseling?  Do you want to save this marriage? If so, I would suggest seeking professional help.

Good luck!

Kellijo: Don't kno how long you've been married but I've been for almost 20 years now and i can tell you we still sometimes fight. I've been thru alot with my husband but if you love him enough; I would try sitting down with him and asking him to tell you the truth about anything. That your marriage deserves communication and honesty and if it can't be had; it's not worth being together anymore. Did this drug testing incident happen recently or have you been fighting for 4 years over this one thing? You BOTH have to be willing to talk things out after an argument...we never go to bed angry at each other...it's a rule we made a long time ago. Sometimes, I can't stand him either but I know many friends who feel that way at times with their spouses, it's normal but usually because the other is hurt or angry for some reason. Don't sweat the small stuff, not to say his lying to you is included in that, but as time goes on and you both get older, you'll realize having someone who is your best friend, accepts you for who you are with your good and BAD faults, is faithful and honest, never talks bad about you when your not around, and will take care of you when you can't..that's love. If you feel he's that to you and can be that person; hang in there; it'll be worth it. If its more than just anger your feeling right now; and downright despise for him, do yourself a favor and let him go, because your worth it! Life is too short to waste time playing games and pretending to love someone when it's not there in your heart and you'll know it. Stay true to yourself always!

You might feel bad...and guilty about not wanting to be around him but that is your intuition telling you his possible drug use is not healthy for him or your family. You need to ask yourself, "if the drugs were gone..would you still feel the distain"? you sound like you want things to work out but as long as there is a lack of trust things will never work. Drug tests dont lie but they can be misleeding. If he took some perscription, he could fail a test. Ask for a copy of the test then take it from there. Give him the chance to clean u his act. If he does'nt get help head for the hills cause it will bring you down and there will never be trust. Let him know you love him but this needs to change now!

don't look too hard at this answer but maybe just maybe a dicorce is the right thing. many people find losing a marriage to be a significant signpost in their drug addiction stories. A drug addict is short circuited in his brain and isn't thinking correctly. the safest thing might be to distance yourself by leaving him by divorcing him. i know that's not a happy statement but you are not in a happy place right now and it doesn't look like you will be if you stay in that marriage. I've got 19 years in recovery and most people don't turn their lives around once they have become addicted. the ones that do are blessed.