How to have sex after your spouse has an affair ...

I don't know.  My question is, why would you try?  If I were you I would be out of that marriage so fast his head would spin.  Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to suffer their betrayals. You should be so mad at him that he is in danger of getting hurt physically by you.  Maybe you are nice enough to forgive him for one affair, but several?  This man has no loyalty to you.  He has knowingly betrayed you I don't know how many times with how many women.  He has put you in danger of STDs, including the fatal one, HIV/AIDS.  He takes the love and affection he should be giving you and giving it to other women, and you want to make it better?  Are you that desperate that you would tolerate this from him?  You should get a lawyer and throw him the hell out of the house and be done with the jerk.

Everyone kim has their own way of dealing with this situation so know that there is no right or wrong way, it depends on how much you love the person... My opinion: If the pain of being without him is greater than the pain of betrayal then you need more time to heal mentally because you must love him enough to be with him again after his affair so I recommend that you try not to have sex with him as long as you can.... This will show you more than you think because if your body misses his touch you wont think about the other girl as much but if your body and mind cant stop thinking about the other girl then sweetheart you are still mentally hurt and need more time away from him sexually. If your mind and body doesnt miss his touch at all then reevaluate your relationship and see if its healthy for you to continue like this

Hi Kim,

     You can never forget the thought of what your husband did with other women.  He betrayed your trust.  No amount of marriage counseling will help you and make you forget.  The only solution is to get him out of your life for good.  If my husband cheated on me, I won't have anything to do with him.  Cheating did not just happen.  It was not an accident.  Somehow he made plans to meet with the other woman and spent time with her instead of spending it with you.  It was deliberate.

    So make plans to file a divorce and move on with your life.  You don't deserve to be treated that way.  Take care.

Hi,
My friends Profitbob and Dogbreeder gave you (as usual) excellent answers (gave them 2 thumbs up each).  I would like to add several comments:
If you decided to forgive you have to forget too.  This means: delete / araise it from your mind.  Don't avoid sex, that will only make things even worst.  Only if you can't forgive (including total forgeting !) than file for a divorce.  If you think that your life from now on will be miserable, leave him..... You have all the rights to have good healthy happy life.
Best regards,

That might be difficult to accomplish. I honestly don't know how you get there. I couldn't do it. Its been my experience that basically, things are never the same and probably don't normally get better. A lot of men that do this, do it again in the future. Its ok to divorce for this reason, but if you think that it can be repaired or even made better, go for it. But, you probably deserve better now.

Well you will not likely to for get about this but you are still in the

relationship so there for you are saying that you for gave him

and that you want this to work!! So talk to him and tell him how you fell

and then put it behind you and in your mind while you are making LOVE

think only about what you are doing with him not anything else!!! I did not

SAY IT WOULD BE EASY.  It will take a lot of work!!!