Ki
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"Know Thyself."

 -Socrates-

If someone you loved told you they loved you but ...

If someone you loved told you they loved you but because of their schedule that it wasn't wise for you two to be declared "together", goes and has sex with someone while you are away, when you come back and find out how would you take it? Should you even ask about if they did?

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dogbreeder
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Live simply, love generously, care deeply,

speak kindly, leave the rest to God.

As I was reading your question,  I concluded the following:

1.  This person does not really love you.  Someone in love will find time to be with you even if he/she is very busy.

2.  Does not want other people to know that you have some kind of relationship together. Or does not want to let it known because she/he has this other person on the side.

3.  This person is playing games with you.  He/she is dating 2 people at the same time or who knows how many more.

  My advice:  Don't waste your precious time on this person.  Find someone who will appreciate you and fall in love with you.

Good luck in your search.
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Ki
16 answers
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"Know Thyself."

 -Socrates-

We're both in the military, I'm overseas, and she is in the military too. (Different branches)

Normally I wouldn't even try this, but we have known each other for 7 years prior. 

 I know her schedule is full, full time military, part time job on the side and trying to find time in between for classes.  (and sleep for that matter)

I am still undecided, I have thought all the things you said previously, they came to mind naturally as answers. Of course I discussed them with her. I did have to do something like this a couple years ago with a female companion due to us being unable to see each other. 

I understood,(her reasoning) but I do not agree that it should allow us to go off and do whatever we please. Technically we are entitled to, but my main question I guess is should I even ask or care if while we are apart if she is someone else?

There is still a couple of years until we can see each other each day, and remain by the others side. But does that qualify for us to put off the relationship itself? Personally I believe that people can commit regardless of what is going on. Perhaps I am alone in that thought. Society proves it day in and day out. Reform might be needed in my philistine views.

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I never reply to these posts but this time I can't help it. I agree with everything the previous post said, and feel bad that you even felt compelled to write yours. i am sorry that you love this person, because he is a cheat, a liar, an opportunist, and a downright loser. And it may hurt to hear this, but he does not love you. Even if he thinks he does, his love is so limited that that it is pathetic. i don't even know you but i know you could do better. Avoid this kind of man at all costs. He wants to have his cake and eat it, too. The right kind of man for you is in a relationship with one woman only, is proud to let people know it, and does not give into his lust for other women. Don't walk away. Run! Good luck. 
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dogbreeder
2061 answers
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Live simply, love generously, care deeply,

speak kindly, leave the rest to God.

Hi Ki,

    You are a very nice dedicated boyfriend to her.  You believe in commitment but I doubt that she does at this time, since you won't see each other for 2 years.  You may be able to endure not having sex with anyone else for 2 years but I could tell she won't be able to do that.  You are indeed one in 5000, a rarety and an exception who still believe in being faithful to his promise to someone he cares about.  I am trying to tell you that it is a noble thing to commit but you have to commit to the right woman, one who will wait for you, save herself from other men because she knows someone is waiting for her.  You trust too much but the object of your trust is not trustworthy.

     It is your decision to wait for her and believe she did not go out with anyone else, when the 2 year period comes, pick up the relationship from there.  When you do that, don't even ask her questions as to how many men she slept with.  OR move on with your life, find a woman worthy of your caring, affection, thoughtfullness and your trust.  There are so many out there who would be happy to have you as their boyfriend because you have that undying devotion.

     Life is all about CHOICES.    I still stick to my previous  first response.

Take care.
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Ki
16 answers
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"Know Thyself."

 -Socrates-

Dogbreeder,

 

I thank you for your answers, and your incite thus far.  (I also thank you for your compliments) Below you will most likely see the stubborn side of me, I apologize ahead of time.

 

I am a bit foolhardy it seems. I do not misplace my trust as I chose to put it into her. Giving my adoration and attention to her comes natural.

Though I hope that everything will be discussed when I return, I have to keep my eyes open and not closed to the world around me.  We will be able to see each other throughout the months and years to follow. It is just about making time at that point.  It most likely would be much more wise (and less painful) to put off the relationship until we can be next to each other. 

 There are many other perspectives that I am blind to I know. I cannot give up on her. Frankly I am afraid to. She and I have been in the others life for a long time now, hard to imagine wanting to be with anyone else, living, loving or caring for anyone else. 

Do you think there is any way for her to realize what she is potentially compromising by putting "us" on the sidelines?

Ki

 

P.S. And if you're wondering the ages, she is 24 and I am 21. 
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