Hi, I am 22 and I am bisexual...I am not out because of my background but it's not hard for me...I live away from home...however, recently it becomes more and more burden for me that so many people who I love around me don't know what is my real sexuality. It became even more burden for me when I realized I fell in love with a guy who I used to live with last year. And here the problem starts to be very complicated and hard for me. He is extremely handsome and clever and I actually realized recently that I might fell in love with him, which would mean it's the first person in my life who made me have some feelings. I cannot stop thinking about him. In June he moved out and since then I started missing him so much. I was just dreaming to see him again. He says he's straight and I wouldn't fancy him if it was obvious that he is heterosexual...BUT there are many things that make me suspect he is bisexual. Bisexual because I can see he fancies girls. He even has a girlfriend now, who is my best friend and now I start thinking about her as a sort of competition for me, although I still really love her as a friend. He had only two girlfriends in his life. He was 19 when he involved into a relationship with his first girlfriend and then they were together for 4 years until he suddenly realized he doesn't love her anymore. Then he fell in love again and he is with my friend. They don't live together because she went to her country. But coming back to the main problem...I suspect he is bisexual and it really makes me have a dream of me and him in a relationship. Maybe it sounds crazy but I really hope that one day he will say to me he is bisexual or even gay. The thing is that his behavior might indicate to his real sexuality. He used to go out with me to the gay club every weekend during the whole year when we lived together. In the club we used to dance like a couple. He even wanted to dress in a gay way. He also seemed to enjoy the looks of other gay guys. Now he says he misses those nights (he lives 3 hours away from me). He always wanted to go there with me and with nobody else(he even said that to his girlfriend, but on the other hand he might have been treating those nights out as a partying with his best buddy..men-only thing). What is more, when somebody told him that I am bisexual he was pressing on me to confess and he said " you can tell me, you know I am fine with it"...but I told him it was not true being afraid of consequences of me coming out. Other thing... he makes jokes about gays all the time and he calls me gay for fun...he always makes connections to something what is gay in many conversations...maybe he does that for fun...but sometimes he does it very very often. I don't know what it might mean...apart from that, when he came back after holidays with his girlfriend we went out being "a bit tipsy" and during whole night he kept saying jokes associated with gays...there was a moment when his girlfriend didn't see.. he kissed my cheek really quickly when we were walking out from the pub...then he touched my bottom several times (maybe just for fun, but he did it several times). Recently, I made a surprise and came to visit him...he was really happy and he said he missed me a lot (he also says that to his girlfriend very often)we had a lot of fun and many nice conversations...of course many of them were interrupted with his gay jokes...and when we slept separately he used to say "don't even get close when I sleep, I know your dirty gay thoughts" and then he laughed...he likes to talk about himself, as he realizes he is very handsome... he shaves all his body including legs and he used to put eye-liner when he was in high-school...It also made me think a lot about his sexuality and his exaggerated care about himself. I don't know what to think. I miss him so much and I really enjoy spending time with him...he might just treat me as a close friend...but the thing is that I fell in love with him and it's really hard now for me..I cannot stop thinking about him. The thing that my friend is his girlfriend makes everything even worse because I want to wish them long and exciting relationship, but honestly I would be happy if they break up.. (he seems to be really in love with her:()... Please, as an expert, could you tell me what should I do? I don't want to destroy anything...I am afraid to tell him that I am bisexual, not even mentioning about the fact that I would like to tell him about my real feelings towards him...it could destroy our friendship and his attitude towards me...plus he couldn't make those gay jokes all the time which I actually really like because they are funny. I think he might be bisexual and many people actually suspect the same. Please help me to sort it out...it's really hard for me...when I visited him I was dreaming to tell him I am bisexual and that I fancy him...but it's just impossible for me...it really frustrates me. Do you think he might not be fully heterosexual when you consider everything what I wrote about him?
