My other half of 18 years about 2 years ago i ...

Don't allow yourself to be in limbo. In order to get on with your life. file for divorce.

I am with Rosie thumbs up .  File for divorce , if this man loved you none of this would have happened .  Mid Life crisis is a flashy word attempting to make excuses and cover lies for bad behavior .   He is feeding you a line of manure .  Kick his butt to the curb and move on with your life .  I wish you the best and the love of a good honest Man , all this man is not .

Dump his ass and move on. He has no respect for you and you deserve better. He's nothin but a punk.

He's sending all his paychecks there-it could be that he is just  using you as a cheap place to live.  If he was actually "trying to drop the ball" on her, he would stop sending her money.  He'll milk this situation as long as he can and then return to her.   I agree with Rosie and Equus-kick him out and file for divorce.  There are many good men out there and if you look, you will find one that loves you unconditionally.

See a Family Law attorney for advice regarding your legal rights and responsibilities.

Your marriage is most likely considered a long-term marriage, which means that spousal support (alimony) will be ordered. If your husband has been the main breadwinner, then he will probably be ordered to pay you. He cannot claim this other woman as an expense (unless they have a minor child together, which he would be legally required to support) so whatever the Court orders as support is what he will have to pay, unless he can otherwise prove hardship.

Furthermore, as long as he is not self-employed, you can ask the Court to order that support payments be automatically deducted from your husband's paycheck.

Again, see an attorney immediately and get this ball rolling. You've waited long enough.