Too many life changes to handle, what do I do?

I'm a recent college graduate (2000-2004) who went straight into a full-time career and then enrolled in grad school at the same time. My "after-college" experience started 3 yrs ago (2004-2007) and during this time I kept a long-term relationship with my girlfriend who I am still dating now.

During the 3 years I spent working/going to grad school, my friends who did or did not go to school after high school started getting married one at a time. It wasn't until after I finished grad school (2007) that all this change hit me like a brick wall. All of a sudden I had excess money, free-time, and an urge to start up that party-like social atmosphere that was put off for 3 years. However, my friends were missing from the scene or they'd bring out their significant others/spouses and would act like someone else than the person I remembered. My social life went on pause for things that took priority in my life, education & career, but for those around me they kept changing.

All this change is too much for me and it feels like I lost all that was important and that it's time to play catch up. My best friend is getting married next year and we rarely hang out like we used to. He asked me to be the best man at his wedding, but sometimes I feel like his brother should be in that role or maybe someone who relates to him better. He hangs out with a different group of people that he works with who have a few married couples in the mix and I do the same but with almost all single people. I've always put my best friends on a pedestal, like family, did I make a mistake doing this?

This is happening while I am still in an almost 4 year relationship with my girlfriend which has been a rollercoaster ride. We only see each other one or two days a week because of work and geography, and those days are precious. It's the days we're apart that are difficult with the phone arguments and sometimes it just seems that we aren't as compatible as the couples we see getting married. My fear is that I'm dragging her along and that once we do get the opportunity to spend a week or two at a time together that we just won't work out. (this will happen soon, read on)

If my social turmoil weren't enough, my current job is up in the air as well. I work for a company that filed bankruptcy and it looks like I'll have to be getting a new job soon, by the end of the year actually. My education and skills will keep me employed so the money isn't a worry, but that's once again another change to deal with. Oh, did I mention...  I just bought a house and am closing in a week. Yikes! Ok, I'm officially stressed to the max with everything that's going on and it's starting to show in my behavior at work, with friends, with my girlfriend, and just in general..... I don't know what to do and I feel like crying. I haven't cried since I was 12 and got hit in the back with a baseball while playing little league!!!


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How can you know if something is coming from darkness or from light? Look if there is love. Love is light, is kind, is acceptance, tolerance, forgiveness...Love it is not self seeking.  Read 1 Corinthians 13

Hi1 It seems that you have a lot in your plate. This shall pass too... Life is offering some valuable lessons, but it is painful, isn't? That's the only way we really learn, through trouble times and difficulties, because when we are fine and happy we do not question our existance or the meaning of life. My advice will be to take one day at a time, if it is too much, one hour at a time, and just do what you can at that time. See what lessons are you seeing from your your current situation, and if you do not understand yet, let time pass, it will come to you. Breath in, Breath out, life is good!!!


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Thanks for the calming answer, but it looks like I'll be re-reading it for a few weeks until things slow down. Atleast the last sentence that is, lol. I've never been able to handle big changes easily, but that's part of life and I know need to get over it.


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How can you know if something is coming from darkness or from light? Look if there is love. Love is light, is kind, is acceptance, tolerance, forgiveness...Love it is not self seeking.  Read 1 Corinthians 13

Yes, that's what will take to get over. I myself have to repeat phrases like that on occasions. The good news is that it helps, and that it really will pass. I'm 41 and I came to this country when I was 26 yr old without knowing English, without knowing anybody, no friends, no possessions, didn't know how to drive, didn't know how to put gas, or how to make a deposit, or how to write a check, or etc, etc, etc.... but I had the faith that I was going to get better, I didn't know at that time how the f... I was going to do it or make it but I kept repeating to myself that I was going to survive and make it. and I did. Right now I have a Master in psychology and I'm almost a Doctor in Psychology, only working on my dissertation, so I still have a lot ahead of me.... all this to tell you that it really will pass, believe it..... Breath In, Breath out, Live is wonderful!!!


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Consulting numerous people on wedding planning and various aspects of wedding like wedding flowers , wedding party etc.

Life is not that easy to live, if there is happiness there is sadness too, if there is joy there is sorrow too, there are phases of life good and bad and I strongly believe there is no life without problems. The best way to live a life is to focus on good parts and try to overcome the difficult ones. It is a life ling process.


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