Just for laughs

This question is no longer relevant.

IT'S HELL GETTING OLD!

OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part
Of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back
A semen sample tomorrow.'

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and
Gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's
Like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried
With my left hand, but still nothing.

'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with
Her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth
In, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too, first
With both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between
Her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'