I have full custody of my 15 year old son and his dad lives five minutes away and has a great relationship with him and visits and partcipates several times a week.I have fallen in love and want to move to florida to get married I know live in SC with my son.My fiancee cannot move because of his career of 30 years there.I have asked my son to join us in florida but he wants to stay and finish 3 years of highschool and wants to live with family such as my ex mother who is 80 and my mother lives here also who would also help with him.I cannot stay here anymore and live paycheck to paycheck and and get very little support of 40 dollars a week.It is not all about the financial though because I would not move unless I was in love .I am going to miss my son but can visit often also get webcams etc etc.I do think the grandma is a little old but his father and my mother would keep tabs on him and she seems younger than she is.Am I doing the right thing he has been asked over and over again to come to florida and he wants to finish highschool.I am not a selfish person I am a very giving and good mom.Any advice?
Fortunately, I am not familiar with the divorce laws of SC so I would ask that if by moving to Florida, can you still be recognized as the custodian of your son or are you allowed to transfer custody to your mother and his grandmother? Can your ex go to court and request custody should be transferred to you since you have moved away and married so that you do not have daily supervision over your son? Once that is cleared up, my feeling is that if you and your son can maintain links of love and concern then you are certainly entitled to get on with your life.
This is a really hard dilemma, basically, you have to choose between your boyfriend and your son. It sucks.
I personally, don't think children should be raised by their grandparents, especially if she's 80. I think that you, your son and your son's father should talk this through together. If the father of your son is willing to let him move in for 3 years and have the time and means to take care of him, that might be one good course of action.
Another good option would be to move your kid, even though he might not want to at first, with you to Florida, it won't be easy, but it might be the best solution all around. I think that living with the mother he's used to and known his entire life is maybe more important in the long run then staying with the same friends and school.
I think that in both cases the first thing you should consider is how serious your new boyfriend is about you and what are the chances of that relationship is to succeed. You are breaking your son's family apart my moving away, whether you take him with you or not, and unless your new boyfriend is 100% committed, as you are to the welfare of your son, then maybe the best thing to do would be to wait till your son's old enough to take care of himself and then think about new marriage and moving away.
I don't think you should give up on your chance of happiness for you child's stability, but I do think you need to be sure that the new relationship is sound enough to do something that will effect the lives of your son and his dad.
Got an answer for sarah237? Would you like to comment on the posted answers, or vote for the one which you think is the best?
Sign up for a free account, or sign in (if you're already a member).
Other people asked questions on similar topics, check out the answers they received:
Other people asked questions on various topics, and are still waiting for answer. Would be great if you can take a sec and answer them
