This is from the Mayo Clinic:

The cause of intermittent explosive disorder appears to be a combination of biological and environmental factors. Lives have been torn apart by this disorder, but medications can help control you or your loved one's aggressive impulses.

Explosive eruptions, usually lasting 10 to 20 minutes, often result in injuries and the deliberate destruction of property. These episodes may occur in clusters or be separated by weeks or months of nonaggression.

Many different types of drugs are used to help control intermittent explosive disorder, including:

• Anticonvulsants, such as carbamazepine (Tegretol), phenytoin (Dilantin), gabapentin (Neurontin) and lamotrigine (Lamictal).
• Anti-anxiety agents in the benzodiazepine family, such as diazepam (Valium), lorazepam (Ativan) and alprazolam (Xanax).
• Mood regulators like lithium and propranolol (Inderal).
• Antidepressants, such as fluoxetine (Prozac) and paroxetine (Paxil).

Group counseling sessions, focused on rage management, also have proved helpful. Some people have found relaxation techniques useful in neutralizing anger.

As your marriage seems to be on the verge of ending, you might want to consider conventional medicintes...

Good luck!